My written mind

Hello again!

2010-10-26T16:40:00.001-07:00

I've learnt a lot since my last post on this blog :

1. Differences are common and naturally pretty.
2. Destiny is not a reason of not doing stuff.
3. Find your priority, in this case I would say that mine is my family.
4. Sometimes looking back is necessarily needed, just to simply remind you things you should and should not do in the present.
5. Memory always draws a smile on your face. Either a happy smile, or a sad one. It depends, yet it's still a smile.
6. Be who you are, and think twice about how you wanna be recognized and labeled.
7. Don't refuse what time brings you, because it might be the answer of what you asked in the past.

Enjoy and live high ;)

-Binar S. Suryandari-

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Fana, Tipu, Terka, Rindu, Waktu : jangan bunuh yang lain..

2010-09-03T02:59:00.000-07:00

Fana jangan tutupi yang nyata, jangan telan yang abadi
Tipu jangan ambil yang jujur, jangan habisi yang benar, jangan duduki yang baik
Terka jangan makan yang faktual, jangan jilati yang belum tentu betul
Rindu jangan tendang yang cinta, jangan geser rasa sayang

Waktu kumohon jangan curi duniaku, jangan hancurkan mimpiku, jangan binasakan hasratku..

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First Impression

2010-09-02T19:26:00.000-07:00

Weird.
Serious, or maybe too serious.
Competitive.
Depressing.
Hectic.
Cool.

Let's see, shall we? I hope this will be great. I'm so easily get panicked. So please just wish me luck ;)

HighSchool and PromNight

2010-07-08T22:47:00.000-07:00

Last night was awesome, it was my high school's prom night. The high school I had been avoiding to get into. But now, it's the high school where all my biggest steps in life were made. It's the high school that changed me as a person, that told me to take life seriously and enjoy it at the same time, that taught me to see things wider. It's the high school where I first knew how my decision can have a big impact, not only to me, but also to the others as well. It's the high school where I found great friends and mates, uncool backstabber, reliable partners and unbelievable phase of life. It's the place where I found myself, it's the place where I found happiness.

I may not be one of the most popular girls, but I'm proud to be one tiny little part of my high school. I don't care of what I wore last night, I don't care how my too-long dress failed me to walk and move properly. Last night was just incredibly spectacular. Last night was awesome.

Thanks to SMA Negeri 8 Jakarta and its people, for giving me such a great memorable phase of my life. I'm proud, I'm proud to "Delapan 2010"........!

-Binar S. Suryandari-

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For you, the sincere guy

2010-05-22T19:18:00.001-07:00

It's the 23rd of the month, and it means we've been together for 5 months dear. Thanks a lot.. You're the most sincere person I've ever met :) and despite all the differences we have, we both are still willing to learn about each other. That's what is superb. Love you, Pi!

May 23rd, 2010
-Binar Sari Suryandari-

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You've weighed things, haven't you?

2010-05-11T18:15:00.001-07:00

I've been learning a lot for the past 12 months. There are so many kinds of people. People are different. There's no chance you'll meet the very same characteristics in one person in another. They live their life with their own way. They embrace it with their own way.

I'm surrounded in socialite consists of so different kinds of people. Since I realized how lucky I was to be circled by them, I observed, I learnt, I smiled in gratitude. They have dreams, for sure. They have their way to pursue them. I love having a chitchat with them and see their point of view. And you can't blame someone from their point of view. Their thoughts have both positive and negative sides. After all, we're still human; we're imperfect.

Success and failure are just a little instance of trial. And life is full of options and choices. You've got to choose, to decide, to move forward to another level. In choosing, you weigh things; the good and the bad effects. This is the time when the difference of the characteristics of people is about to be revealed, about to be known and understood. They choose to be what they want to be, they choose to be what they want to be known and judged. Nothing is wrong about that. Remember, they've weighed things already and they have their chance to choose. When success comes, they, unconsciously, are in trial. See how people deal with success. It varies in many ways, doesn't it? So is failure. It's just another form of trial.

You choose how you want to live your life yourself. And whatever you choose, it means you're ready to be known by what you've chosen. Don't be mad. Of course, you've weighed things before you choose, haven't you?

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Their results and a message for you

2010-05-10T07:40:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to all my friends who passed UI's admission test!!! SIMAK UI udah selese, dan hasilnya pun udah keluar. Luar biasa banget karena teman2 sekolah gue yg keterima sampe saat ini ada 202 orang! Whew. Ciut ngga lo dengernya? 8 2010 rocks! I'm so proud of you guys, and proud to be part of 8 2010 ;)
202 orang itu emang angka kasar yg keterima, ada yg bakal ngambil, ada yg engga, ada yg udah keterima tp belom sesuai pilihan yg diinginkan pula. Yg belum tembus sama sekali juga ada. Jangan berkecil hati yaaa. Keep your flames on and work harder! Jgn pernah pertanyain takdir Allah deh ya pokoknya, semua ada jalannya. Usaha+doa berperang sm takdir di suatu tempat sana. Jadi siapa yg kuat, dia yg menang. Makanya di pol in aja deh usaha sama doanya, dan kalo emg udah mentok ya tunggu aja "tangan2" Allah akan bergerak kemana. Go, Fight, Win deh ya teman-teman!!!!

And dear you, don't worry, everything's gonna be alright. You've been so incredible, your effort has been unbelievably great. Despite your failures till now, I'm so proud of you. I'm proud being the person who has the chance to be this close to you. You're great. Keep on smiling, trying, and praying dear.. Remember, Allah sees, listens, hears, gives, and grants. All you need is your patience and effort. You're such a big-hearted man. I love you....... :)

Sincerely yours,
Binar Sari Suryandari

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You may say.........

2010-05-05T00:42:00.001-07:00

You may say I'm selfish, unstable, immature, weak, over-acting, greedy, or whatsoever. Hm, well it's okay, because now maybe I am.

May 5th, 2010 14:41
-Binar Sari Suryandari-

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2010-05-05T00:26:00.001-07:00

You want a revenge, you'll get it soon, won't you?
I'd been telling everyone to give you a hand, because I knew, I wouldn't be able to. Now, you've got all the help you need. You seem to have fun. I always want you to get your own happiness, because your happiness means a lot to me, still. But in fact when I found out, I wept. Ups, no, I didn't weep. I cried like a newborn baby. What I didn't know was how I would feel. I am sick because of my own will. I am sick for giving you what you need and want.
Now I want to give you an early congratulation. And I just ask you for one more thing : please give me your smile, because maybe it's the only cure.

Let me draw a conclusion :
The 'someday' is definitely not now.....

-Binar Sari Suryandari-

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2009

2010-04-27T19:21:00.001-07:00

It was superb. I had a great time.
I learnt. I failed. I succeded. I was happy. I was sad. I laughed a lot. I cried a lot as well. I counted the days. I hurt people. I was hurt. I understood things. I gave up. I tried again. I gave up again. I made changes. I loved. I was loved. I got great friends. I made decision. I let go. I was suffering. I found a bright light. 2009 was awesome..

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The end and the very beginning

2010-04-27T03:07:00.001-07:00

Okay, now everything's over. By everything, I mean all the pressure and, of course, school. I got my national exam's score which is not very satisfying. But it's enough as long as I passed it.

The end of it means the beginning of other things. I'm no longer a high school student, I'm about to go to university. Yea since I already got accepted in University of Indonesia, I'm now feeling sooo relieved that all I gotta do is waiting for my friends' admission tests result and preparing myself. Yea, I really wanna have so many familiar friends in the place I'm studying next. So I'm really excited to wait for their result and see who'll go to the same university as me.

That's it. Thanks a lot for those whose support were just incredibly sincere and great. I've passed 12 years of school; wearing school uniform with red, blue and grey skirts. I'll surely miss it, but alhamdulillah, it's over ;)

-Binar S. Suryandari-
SDS Putra 1, SMP N 115 Jakarta, SMA N 8 Jakarta
*Hubungan Internasional, Fakultas Ilmu Sosial dan Ilmu Politik, Universitas Indonesia*

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Whoa. I'm old.

2010-02-22T02:07:00.001-08:00

Hm yea I'm 17 and this year, on September 19th, I'll be turning 18. And whoa, that's a big number. Do you believe that we've been living this world for 17 years? Well, I'm having hard times believing it.

What have I done for life, others and even myself? I have finished elementary school, junior high, and am gonna be graduated from high school this year (amin). Whoa. Whoa. What will I tell my children years later? Where has my childhood times gone? Have I reached the point of maturity rate which suits my age?

Getting into university must be very exciting, hmm yet also scaring. I'm gonna be a college girl soon and............ it's a wow. Who stole my happy childhood moment? Why times passes so damn fast? I'm old. Haven't done anything in life, and will be turning 18 this year. Crazy.

Damn, I'm old.

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Quick Update

2010-02-16T18:16:00.001-08:00

Whoaa, long time no write on this blog. Well, quick report for you guys :
1. Yuhuuu I got accepted in University of Indonesia, Faculty of Social and Political Science; International Relation Department ! Whoaaa alhamdulillah......
2. School has been sooo hectic lately. Exams and TryOuts seem to have no end.
3. I'm enjoying my last weeks in high school. Cool. I really can feel how fast time passes by. It's like, whoa, in months I'm gonna be graduated from school. Amin.
4. National examination, grrrr can we skip it, huh?
5. Have just hit Solo, and maybe Bali would be great hm hmm my parents are just cool!
6. He's the best spontaneous boy on earth. And I'm happy to have him :) <3
Well, I think that's all. I'll write on this blog soon. I promise!
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:) :))

2010-01-16T16:00:00.001-08:00

It feels great. It is overwhelmedly great. It's crazy. It's relieving. It makes me speechless. It draws a very wide smile on my face. It increases my confidence. It is unbelievable.

Adjectives can't even describe it. Words are no longer able to express my feeling. What else could I ask for? Their smiles are just more than enough. It was a dream, a dream I'd been trying hard to reach. Allah never leaves me. Allah hears, Allah listens, Allah sees, Allah knows. Allah trusts me with this great chance.

It's their smiles, hugs, and kisses that I've been seeking. When the smiles appear, when the hugs and kisses are given to me, the feeling of being me is just overwhelming. They're incredible.

Thanks to Allah, for the best parents, sister, brother, best friends, and best boyfriend <3 Thanks for those who support. They're incredibly great. Alhamdulillah.

-Binar Sari Suryandari-
Hubungan Internasional, Universitas Indonesia 2010

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Time and Changes

2010-01-05T22:26:00.001-08:00

The ticking of a clock enlightens my mind. It makes me realize that time passes by no matter how we spend it. It will never go back as we always hope when we regret. Time gives no special treatment to anyone, it treats all of us the same.

Time will never understand, it will only answer.

2009 has ended. Ah what a memory. I remember being a very bad person, and then tried to turn to be a better person months after. I can recall not only seeing a very stressed girl on the mirror, but also seeing a girl with the widest smile ever.

Changes were made, and yes, changes have never been easy to get through. The response of people to the changes varies in many ways. And again, I learnt. There are people whose responses were just relieving and unbelievably great. But there are also people whose responses were their laugh which caused a heartache in me. Well it's okay anyway. I now understand.

2010 has begun. What a year it must be. A year in when my future plan is about to be architectured. Not just about the future plan, it's also about improvement I'll be making about myself.

The clock is ticking, not fast but also not slowly. It's ticking in a perfect frequent rhymes. Changes have never been easy, but sometimes they are needed. What changes will you make in this year? Well let's just see.

Learn a lot, let life be full of surprises, live high.
Time will never understand, it will only answer..

-Binar S. Suryandari-

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Pangrango

2009-12-25T22:17:00.001-08:00

Lukisan-Mu rumit, melelahkan, menyegarkan, dan sejuk. Lukisan-Mu.......................luar biasa.. Dan waktuku takkan pernah cukup untuk dapat menelusuri habis setiap lukisan indah-Mu.

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Terima Kasih

2009-12-19T15:21:00.000-08:00

Ya Allah..
Terima kasih atas segala karunia-Mu, atas segala nikmat yg Kau berikan,
Terima kasih atas tiap udara yg kunafaskan, ruh yg Kau tiupkan, dan jasad yg Kau bentuk sedemikian rupa,
Terima kasih atas segala karakter, dan ilmu pengetahuan yg dapat kuserap,

Ya Allah..
Terima kasih atas Bapak terbaik di dunia yg luar biasa sabar, yg berbeda, yg percaya, yg supportive, yg menjadi penghangat, pemecah suasana dan mengenalku dengan baik
Terima kasih atas Mama terindah yg pernah aku kenal, yg sensitif, yg penuh perhatian, yg selalu bersedia menemaniku, yg selalu bersedia berbagi cerita denganku
Terima kasih karena telah memberikan aku orangtua yg tak pernah kenal lelah membanting tulang, yg bekerja dari 0, hanya untuk melihat senyum terbaik dari anak2 nya

Terima kasih atas kakak yg hebat, yg menjadi teladan bagi adik2nya, yg menginspirasi, yg luar biasa berbeda
Terima kasih atas adik yg kuat, yg dewasa, yg pengertian, yg persistent, yg mengajariku banyak hal
Terima kasih atas saudara2 hebat, yg spontan, yg menjadi sumber pembelajaran terdekatku hanya dengan mengobrol di kamar sempit atau bahkan melalui lubang ac di dinding pemisah antar kamar

Ya Allah..
Terima kasih atas teman-teman yg memiliki senyuman paling menawan, yg suaranya menenangkan, yg menerimaku apa adanya, yg pelukannya menghangatkan, dan yg selalu mengingatkan ku bahwa aku tak pernah sendirian
Terima kasih atas orang-orang itu, yg membuat aku semangat ke sekolah, yg membuat dunia terasa indah, yg selalu dapat membuatku tersenyum malu di balik telefon genggam
Terima kasih atas guru-guru, yg membuat ku pandai, yg tak pernah malas membagiku secuil pengetahuannya

Ya Allah..
Terima kasih atas lukisan-Mu yg indah, yg menyejukkan, yg membuatku semakin merasa kecil dihadapan-Mu
Terima kasih atas segala pengalaman hidup yg luar biasa bermakna, yg telah menjadi goresan-goresan tinta yg pekat, yg dapat dibaca dan juga dipelajari
Terima kasih atas segala kegagalan yg menyakitkan, yg membuatku tersadar, yg membuatku belajar, yg menjadi guru terbaik dalam hidupku

Ya Allah..
Terima kasih atas rumah kecil yg indah, yg nyaman, yg tak pernah lari kemanapun saat aku butuhkan
Terima kasih atas kamar sempit yg terasa luas, yg menenangkan, yg sudah memahami segala aktivitas, sifat, serta keburukanku tanpa pernah menolak untuk aku masuki
Terima kasih atas kain-kain itu, yg indah, yg terasa cantik saat dipakai. Jadikanlah kain-kain itu lebih dari sekedar kain, jadikanlah itu semua menjadi kain pelindungku dari api neraka yg panas, yg membawaku semakin ke jalan-Mu

Alhamdulillah.. Tak pernah cukup bibirku mengucap syukur atas segala nikmat dan rahmat yg Kau berikan..
Life is great and wonderful if you know how to enjoy it

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Poci-poci

2009-12-15T17:11:00.001-08:00

Halo halo, terimakasih banyak untuk orang2 yg sudah memberikan komentar ttg blog gue ini. Ada yg bilang post nya pd gloomy banget lah, ada yg bilang isinya knp in english semua lah, dll.

Maafin deh ya, kalo there are sooo many grammatical errors di post2 sebelumnya, I am not an expert in english soalnya, but I wanna be one hehe, makanya berusaha improve dgn membiasakan hehe. Trs knapa gloomy? Ini tanpa sengaja loh, ini kan Unspoken Words kan ya. Dan biasanya words which are left unspoken usually are gloomy things to be told. Krn kan kalo seneng2, kadang org ngga bakal nulis, tapi bakalan senyum2, ketawa2 atau bahkan joget2 hihihihi.

Oke oke, skrg ttg hari2 gue belakangan ini. Sabtu besok ambil rapot loh, dan gue agak ga peduli krn gue tau itu ga bakal ngaruh ke apa2. Dan syukur alhamdulillah, sumatif gue dimudahkan dan akhirnya gue terbebas dr segala remed yg biasanya gue dapet. Banyak bgt deh pelajaran yg gue dapet kaya sebulan belakangan ini. Dan gue sangat senang dan bersyukur, dan terima kasih buat orang2 yg mendukung gue untuk jd Binar yg lebih baik sampe akhirnya gue sadar utk memberanikan diri membuat suatu keputusan yg menurut gue cukup besar. Dan sejauh ini keputusan gue itu membawa hasil yg memuaskan krn pd akhirnya gue semakin berusaha buat jd manusia yg lebih baik dan percaya bahwa there's something bigger than this universe..

Makasih bgt ya semuanya, seneng bgt deh, dan gue ngerasa semuanya dimudahkan, alhamdulillah. Mata yg besar dan bisa ngeliat dunia dgn luas tuh bener2 diperluin bgt ternyata, dan dgn mata hebat itu gue yakin kita semua bisa mengambil keputusan dengan sebijak2nya. Dan itulah kedewasaan. Gue salah kalo gue nganggep gue udah dewasa sejak masuk SMA. Salah juga kalo nganggep 17tahun itu dewasa. Dewasa itu bukan sesimpel itu ternyata dan bahkan sekarang gue ngerasa belom dewasa sampe saat ini tapi gue tau gue udah 1 langkah ke depan menuju kedewasaan. Aduh maaf bgt ya kalo gue sotoy atau sok bijak gitu, tapi beneran deh gue ngerasa belajar banyak bgt akhir2 ini dan menemukan beberapa kesalahan gue dalam memaknai kehidupan selama ini.

Hmm sudah deh itu saja, makasih sekali lagi buat orang2 yg mendukung dan sudah menjadi objek pembelajaran kehidupan buat gue hanya dengan menemani ngobrol, dan melihat cara pandang kalian semua. Oiya special thanks buat Kak Titis yg mention nama gue di skripsi nya yg membuat gue merasa keberadaan gue dgn segala ketidakdewasaannya lebih dihargai :) Selamat juga buat kak Titis yg sekarang udah bisa menyelipkan gelar Sarjana Hukum di namanya, dan buat Rakha yg udah menang lagi baru2 ini, dan selamat buat semuanya yg ngerasa udah mencapai sebuah achievement dalam segala aspek kehidupan.

Hihihihi post gue kaya poci-poci yaa, tapi gapapa deh, gue menulisnya dengan penuh kesadaran kok hehehe ;p

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Not at all

2009-12-15T13:07:00.001-08:00

You don't bother me, not at all
I don't mind doing those things, not at all

In fact, I enjoy it, really. Thanks for being very supportive and making me feel like a better person who does better things :-)

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Enjoyable <3

2009-12-14T08:30:00.001-08:00

1. Well, I think I've got my distraction, and kinda love this kind of distraction <3 hope this will go and flow very well
2. Having the most successful final-exam in school since I first stepped my foot on this highschool is just cool. Yea, it's worth it
3. Life is full of choices. And I guess now I'm mature enough to be presented with choices.
4. I'm gonna wander in beautiful landscapes with my Puapala friends soon! Gonna see some coolness out there :-)
5. Just got a very terrible accident which made me have the biggest guilt in my life so far. But again, experience is the best teacher

Ah, I love my life. Never dare to imagine and dream. You can have imagination as wild as you want it to be, and no one deserves the right to bother it. And embrace life, remember, we only live once. Lalalalala life is wonderful <3

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And it means.......now

2009-12-08T04:13:00.001-08:00

When distraction is needed..
When fake smiles appear..
When sensitivity is just too much..
When curiosity increases..
When things are overwhelming..
When warmth becomes the scarcest thing in your surroundings..
When words are not enough to express things..
When all you can swallow is disappointment..
When the ticking of a clock becomes the only sound you can hear..
When your large swollen eyes are unable to see things clearly..
When madness fulfills your mind..
When rejection wants to be your bestfriend..
When your heart feels nothing..

When sleeping is a must..

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2009-12-07T03:18:00.001-08:00

"You are such a genious artist to have painted an unbelievably wonderful phase in the picture of my life.."

-Binar S. Suryandari-
(December 6th 2009 23:28)

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What a mirror reflects

2009-12-06T20:29:00.001-08:00

What is that?
...........
What is that? Which seems so empty and hopeless?
What is that? Which feels so unreal yet flawless?
What is that? Which looks as miserable as I have never seen?
What is that? Which goes with no direction?
What is that? Which walks with confusion?
What is that? Which sees nothing?
What is that? Which sells no excitement?
What is that? Which offers emptiness in heart?
What is that? Which makes so incredibly heart-breaking noise?
.........
........
.........
What is that? Which leads me to wonder?
.....
....

Ah, it's just a mirror. Mirror and the reflection of someone who's in front of it. Ah, that couldn't be mine. Oh no, I hope it's not my reflection.

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Chaos in my mind

2009-12-02T00:02:00.000-08:00

1. Having end-of-semester exams is just torturing
2. I love being busy, it makes me feel alive, but I hate having a busy mind
3. I'm hopeless. I'm not confident at all. And thank you for those who still support
4. The path is just getting shorter as time goes by, and I don't even know if this path leads me to my dream. But yes, I hope so.
5. I will finish my high-school in less than a year. Look how fast time passes by
6. Troublesleeping at night isn't good for those who are going to have exam in the morning after
7. I love helping people, at least I have something to do, and as I already said, it makes me feel alive
8. I may not be the brightest child on earth, but I'm trying to make them as proud as they can be of me with my own way
9. Home is always the best place you can run to. The silence in my bedroom always helps me relax
10. I am afraid of falling down too high, but no, I'm not afraid of hanging my dreams highly. Risk taking is needed to live an extraordinary life.
11. My friends are cool. They unconsciously make me feel that I'm needed.
12. So are my family, they help me soooo much in understanding myself. I love the way they built my character
13. Whatever people say, I still stick to my diet rules. At least I'm satisfied of my struggle to be able to hold myself from eating. It's nice to know that I can control myself :).
14. Failure is a common thing. It sucks but then it is what I learn from.
15. Hectic, yes it is. But then again, this is life. And I embrace it because I only have the opportunity to live once.

Take care people :--)
-Binar S. Suryandari-

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Hmm

2009-11-17T05:55:00.001-08:00

It hurts, but thanks.. I'm glad for you and I wish you so much luck. Maybe I'll just wait without any expectation..
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Please don't....

2009-11-17T02:12:00.001-08:00

Don't try to avoid me
Don't pretend to be someone else
Don't hide
Don't say that you don't know how I feel, cause I know that you know
Don't judge
Don't think bad at me
Don't hesitate to talk to me
Don't let anyone else know but us
Don't stay far away from me
Don't treat me as if you're a jerk, cause in my deepest heart, I still have faith that you're not
Don't hurt anyone, hurt me first if you have to hurt someone
Don't blame anyone, just blame ourselves
Don't regret, cause it'll just change nothing, I already happened
Don't stop laughing and smiling, cause I like the way you laugh and smile
Don't let anyone judge, they don't know what really happened
Don't make decision carelessly

Please.... Don't change. Don't go.....
Please stay the same................

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I am pathetic

2009-11-16T05:49:00.001-08:00

It's not easy to find you between those hundreds of people. But I know, you're there, somewhere. Whatever people might say, I don't care. I can't deny that this thing feels great yet it confuses me. I don't know either what you meant or what you want. I really want you to know what in my mind is. But you know, it takes courage. And I still don't have it yet. Also, if I tell you these, I'm afraid that you would change. And I don't want you to change.

Do you know something? I bravely say that what I feel is different from any other feeling I had already had before. Why? Because I've never been this freak. It's a feeling I've already had since years ago, but I didn't know that it could be this powerful. I thought I could bury you in my deepest heart. But I was wrong. At that moment, it wakes up and appear strongly out of nowhere but my heart. It's been there for years. But it wasn't as powerful as now that you had woken it up.

I know it's wrong, but don't judge please. It comes out of nowhere, and it's uncontrollable. It already hurts with no one knows. I don't know what will happen if someone finds out. Yea it will hurt even more.

It's strong, trust me. But I'll just keep it. Please talk to me, and tell me everything I need to know, plus answer all the questions I have in mind. I'll support every step you take, whatever decision you make. I promise you, I will.

Oh, dear God, look.. Look how pathetic I am.......................

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18 questions I've got in mind

2009-11-15T07:57:00.001-08:00

Are you there? Do you constantly have a look at my blog? Do you know what I'm feeling now? Do you know how it hurts to be unable to tell it to anyone? Do you know what I mean in this post? Are we cool? Are we gonna talk about it or just let it flow like nothing happened? Do you feel the same as what I feel now? Am I stupid? Or am I an evil? Can you feel how complicated it is? Are you happy? Do you know what this is? Is it a game? Is it an occasionally game? Are you trying to hurt me? Do I hurt someone? Will you let it be a secret to everybody else but us?

If you read these questions, please answer straightly to me in a way nobody can hear and understand. You know who you are. Please, I'm begging you to answer. But please don't change after you answer, please stay the way you are.

-Binar S. Suryandari-

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What's this?

2009-11-14T17:52:00.001-08:00

It's a fantasy. Oh, no it's not. It's real. It's calming. It's gentle. It's relaxing. But no it's not relieving. It's a problem yet it makes me glad. It feels great but it's not okay. It drives me crazy yet happy at the same time. No, it's not a good thing. It's something I am not supposed to have or feel. But, oh dear God, it's something I can't refuse, I can't deny, and I can't control. What's this? Oh yea, it's something I can't tell anyone but my reflection on the mirror.

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It's a sorry

2009-11-11T23:13:00.001-08:00

I'm sorry, really sorry.. I refused not because I didn't want to. I cancelled because it was not the right time. I couldn't go because I did have things to do, that's why I refused and cancelled it. I am sorry, very sorry if you get it wrong. I hope we're cool. Seriously, I didn't mean to. I know you're mad at me, but please forgive.. I am really, really sorry...........................

To : A friend of mine
From : Binar S. Suryandari

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2009-11-11T02:53:00.001-08:00

Write 15 things that you want to say to 15 different people, one for each. It could be a confession, an opinion, a thought, anything. However, you can't write something you already confessed or something you already said, it has to be something new. Tell them which is whom if you want to, but you don't have to.

In this post (in random order) : Titis Lintang Andari, Rakha Agung Suryandaru, Anisa Agtriani, Nisrina Damiyati, Utari Nur Kharunissa, Distie Saraswati, Andhini Nafisah Febrina, Alfi Rosyidi, Avian Andika, Kevin Pardede, Mulia Destini, Laksmana Gusti Handoko, Luna Puspita, Andika Chaktiaji Zulfiqar, Pramudita Hanum Andaristi

1. "Heyho minnesota girl! I miss having an one-minded classmate like you.."
2. "Cieeeee tertarik sama 'Asta'?."
3. "It's always nice to have you in my room and tell you my things. You've really grown up fast, brother! Can't believe how mature you are now!"
4. "Be patient, friend. She's uncool to do that to you and go having fun with her new boyfriend."
5. "Hello there! Wow, always feel great to have a chat with you. I'm always glad to help.."
6. "How's life? And how's your Schoolympic curly boy, huh? Send my regard to Bunda :)"
7. "I don't get it when you say that you owed me many things. I don't think you owe me something.. What does it mean?"
8. "This is honest, I admire you. Anyway I hardly understand words you're using in your blog, too complicated for me -_- And yes, you're definitely a psikopat!!!"
9. "Thank you very much.. And yes, I wish you so much luck in the future. I always have faith that you'll be one of those successful people in this country :-)"
10. "We're friends since elementary school, and now I know your biggest secret! But trust me, I won't tell anyone"
11. "Hello sexy, I miss you. And I know you miss me too hehe. Anyway thanks for calling on my birthday. It did mean a lot :-) looking forward to hearing from you via mails as always!"
12. "Sorry for cancelling your treats. Besides my inability to do it, I also don't want to go with just the two of us. It's kinda stressing for me -.-"
13. "Hey, I hope he's not only your first boyfriend, but also your last boyfriend till you get married, have kids, and face the end of the life :-) "
14. "Weey, I miss you! How's the ipod Nessa and I made for you? Isn't it cool, huh? Enjoy your Utah, girl!"
15. "Hmm still remember 'KitaBerlima'? Hahaha from that 5friends, look who are still best friends. Us, isn't it? You're really a mom-person. You do what elder people do, and it's great, really!"

So, can you guess which one is for you?

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Bonus

2009-11-11T01:46:00.001-08:00

I want to get it, really. This is a dream I've been dreaming since I was in elementary school. I'll do anything to get it. Well, how if I am asked to be able to get it in a much easier way? Wow, of course, normal people will say yes, including me. I want to get it through this easier way, yes I really want. But how if after I apply, their answer is a no? Hmm a month ago, I remember myself telling "I don't know how to be able to take another way". No, now I've changed my way of thinking -> "It's a bonus if you can get it through the easy way"

Yes it is a bonus. No matter what, it's not an absolute thing. I cannot depend on that bonus thing only. I realised I have to get a grip too in another way. If I can get it, I'll be very happy, happy as I never be. I'll hug my parents, streaming down the happy tears. And I promise, I'll help my friends to get what they want too. But, if I can't get it, surely, I'll cry. I'll regret things but I won't make it long. I have to get up and realise there are still ways waiting for me. And yes, improve myself and try my best.

It's a dream. It still is. But to get it through the easier way is a bonus. I want the easier way, but if I can't get it........ Well, nothing to lose then, right?

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Secrets

2009-10-21T06:43:00.001-07:00

Life itself is a secret. Yes, you don't know when the time will come for you to leave the world, to live the life. We know life is not always great. Life is a circle. There are times when you feel like everything's great for you and also the times when you feel like you are the one who has the worst life.

Allah has called one of my friends, Uta. He was a very lovable person. He was the clown of the class and yes, everybody loves him. It was all of a sudden. Whatever caused his death, I believe that it's the best way Allah wanted to call him. Allah has plans. Plans for every one of us. The duration of our life is there.

I learned. And I just knew that this is Allah wanted me to do, yes, to learn from that. To find the silver lining from this big dark cloud.

Embrace life, people.

Life, at which we've been cursing everyday, can find the end of itself at any time we don't know. Life is a gift. Be grateful of it. Try and do your best every time, because you don't know when you can't do it anymore. Yes, as I always say, live life to the fullest. And be lovable to people, because when someday your time comes, they will be the ones who say their prayers to you, to wish you the best in another world, and to wish you to get a very beautiful 'seat' beside The Almighty.

And yes, Uta, I wish you all those things in my prayers. We love you, as always. We won't ever forget you :--)

Again, people; Let life be full of secrets. It's a pandora's box. Just live it to the fullest, cause you don't know when the pandora's box will be closed for ever..

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A lesson

2009-10-10T07:36:00.001-07:00

For me, life is not a stage. And please, don't think that it is. What's the point of acting and pretending to be something that you're not just to make people love you?? --> Pointless.

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Why?

2009-10-08T05:06:00.001-07:00

Perfect people don't exist. Everybody is simply imperfect. So why do people talk rubbish about other's imperfectness? I mean, do you ever think how you feel if other people talk craps about your imperfectness behind your back in the exact same way? Will you feel hurt?

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Gunung Gede, 28-29 September 2009

2009-10-04T23:12:00.001-07:00

Puapala (Putri-Putra Pecinta Alam Delapan)

Gue adalah salah satu anggota Puapala XXXV. And I've been telling to everyone that the best decision I've ever made is this, joining Puapala. Now, I can see the world more clearly, discover and try new things. And thanks to Puapala, for being another family of mine and for opening my eyes wider to see the world. I haven't done many things, but I'm proud of what I've done..

Dan foto2 ini adalah foto2 ttg Puapala, Puapala XXXV lebih khususnya, dan yg kebanyakan diambil di Gunung Gede, saat kita melantik Puapala XXXVI.
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Best Friends

2009-10-04T22:34:00.001-07:00

We're best friends.. Maybe we don't have many things in common. Each of us has different characteristics and likeness. Some of us like doing sport, some of us love being active in organizations, some of us love hanging out, some are into fashion, some speak a lot and some cry a lot.

We're different human beings to each other. We have different activites, and different world. But when we gather around, we are mixed. We leave our own world as we build our new world together. We laugh together and share our story. We listen to the other's story, even if the story is about their world, which we don't actually understand. We care about each other. And yes, we are best friends..

So, I'm introducing you : My greatest lovely girls, who have always been keeping me sane..
--> Dami Nessa Utha Distie Dhini Dinda Tika Ava Anti Olvy

?you guys :--)
-Binar Sari Suryandari-

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Random thoughts

2009-10-03T19:05:00.001-07:00

Right at the moment, I'm at 'Perkampungan Betawi', running away from the Try Out I should be having. Seriously, I'm just not ready for anything yet, including all those exams.

We're now in early October. September has passed. And yes, I'm now 17.. We are special at every age, for me. 17 is just another special age for me. And I have to be a mature-17-year-old person, yea I really hope so..
September 19th is my birthday. My latest birthday, which is my 17th, was okay. I had great family and friends who came to my room and woke me up at 00.00.. They were all great. But when they went home, my day turned to be 'different'. Now I can say that my latest birthday was unforgettable, unforgettably pathetic and heart-breaking.

There was something I couldn't find. I hate it. It made me forget about the great surprise I'd already had. It was pathetic, and I was terribly sad and I just can't forget it. I still don't understand why it could happen.

I don't know why I'm writing this on my blog, this thoughts just randomly passed on my mind...

Goodluck for your mid test, people! Wish me luck too :--)
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Two things men should know about women

2009-09-23T09:05:00.001-07:00

Women might be fragile, but we're not weak
Women might be childish, but we're not immature

Thanks and goodnight,
*Binar Sari Suryandari*
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Well I've never tried to answer a quiz before, let me try this one ..

2009-09-22T04:14:00.001-07:00

1. what are three ways to win your heart?
Being honest, humorous, and loyal

2. do you like lightning?
Sometimes..

3. have you ever cut someone else's hair?
Yes

4. last person you said 'i hate you' to?
My reflection on the mirror, yeah now you know how freak I am..

5. rain or sunshine?
Rain, but not a very heavy one

6. last stupid thing you said to anyone?
"Can I sing in your band?" Hahaha

7. biggest turn off?
Hurting talks

8. fave movie?
Too many, I can't pick one of them

9. would you date someone who smokes?
Yes, why not?

10. would you date someone who was addicted to drugs?
No

11. what's your biggest turn on, physically?
Beautiful eyes

12. would you have sex w. someone you weren't dating?
Hell-no

13. have you ever missed someone and regretted breaking up with them?
Missed, yes. Regretted, no.

14. have you ever dated someone more than once?
NO

15. if you could go on ONE DATE with any celebrity, who would it be?
To be honest? David Beckham

16. what's your relationship status?
Emm single?

17. do you like cuddling?
Yes

18. do you hold grudges?
No, I guess

19. do you regret dating anyone?
No, never

20. hugger or kisser?
Both

21. missing someone?
Yessssss!

22. most important lesson you've learned from your exes?
Understanding is the key to a happy healthy relationship

23. are you happier single or in a relationship?
I think my happiness doesn't depend on what my status is

24. how important are looks?
As long as his looks don't make me feel bored and uncomfortable, cause I'll look at him very often, even in my dreams hehe

25. would you rather date someone who was SUPER-HOT or someone who was nice?
Nice!

26. do you stay friends w/ the people you've dated?
I guess so

27. would you fight over someone you wanted to be with?
No

28. do you kiss on the 1st date?
Nope

29. if someone cheated on you, would you take them back if you really loved them?
Emm maybe.. If he really can assure me that it won't happen again

30. some random girl comes up to you and says "who the hell are you"? What do you say back?
"And who the hell are you?"

31. are you spoiled?
A bit

32. name three things you would not tolerate in a relationship?
Lying, cheating and..... having difference in basic principal of life, emm like religion maybe

33. which one of your friends do you think would make a good prostitute?
What?

34. did you miss anyone today?
Yes Yes Yesssss

35. last person to see you cry?
My brother

36. Who/what made you cry?
My feelings, and yea heart-touching things, and movies

37. are you a forgiving person?
Yes I guess

38. would you ever share a girl/boyfriend with your best friend?
What? Definitely no

39. i've come to realize the last person who gave me a hug.
I can't remember

40. are most of your friends guys or girls?
Both

41. how long does it take you to get ready to go out ?
I don't know, maybe 15minutes or faster

42. how many people do you know of named Adam ?
4-5

43. are any of your friends cheerleaders ?
Yes

44. what was the last thing you burnt ?
A firework-stick

45. what is your full name?
Binar Sari Suryandari

46 what color is the bra you have on now ?
Do you really want to know? Hahaha

47. do you straighten your hair every day?
Nope

48. do you worry about the size of your boobs?
No

49. are you the typical girl who's addicted to gossip?
Sometimes, but not hurting gossip

50. what are your favorite girly magazines?
Hmm cosmogirl maybe

51. did you ever spend all day/night getting pretty for a guy?
No

52. did you ever cry during a romantic movie?
Always hehehe

53. would you leave the house without makeup on?
I often leave without make up, very often

54. what's the biggest turn on about guys?
Visionary thoughts and maybe humorous talk

55. are you a girly-girl, tomboy, or in the middle?
In the middle

56. is pink truly the best color in the entire universe?
NO, green is

57. what's the most expensive piece of clothing you own?
Hmm can't remember

58. what color do you absolutely despise?
I'm sorry but maybe pink

59. have you ever stole?
Hmm, yes

60. have you set your hair on fire?
No, but other girl's hair, yes

61. do you wear sweat pants?
Rarely

62. do you know anyone who has lost their virginity?
Yea the grown-ups

63. have you ever ran into a door because you didn't see it?
Yes and that hurt

64. doesn't 50 Cent suck?
No

65. do you like hugs and kisses(xoxo:))?
Yes

66. do you act gangster?
No

67. ever made a prank phone call?
Yes. I said "Can I speak to Mr. Lion King?"

68. last kiss?
Never

69. what bill do you hate paying most?
Thank God, I bought things which are useful and never regret to pay them

70. where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
I've never had that one, I guess

71. what did you want to be when you were growing up?
I always want to be a diplomat, emm but I did want to be a teacher once

72. favorite NON sexual thing to do at night with a guy?
Having an all-night-long talk and yea laughing and maybe watching DVDs

73. when did you first start feeling older?
When I was 15 years old

74. favorite guilty pleasure?
Cheating on an exam, especially on Religion exams

75. what famous person(s) would you like to have dinner with?
Oprah Winfrey

76. what famous person would you like to date?
Again, David Beckham in the first place

78. what do you hate about your school?
The always-having-exams thing

79. last person whose bed you laid in besides your own?
Kak titis's

80. have you lost a friend recently?
No

81. ever have a sleepover with the opposite sex?
No

82. do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot?
Not a lot

83. is it easier to forgive, or to forget?
Forget

84. do you give out second chances too easily?
I guess so

85. is your best friend pretty?
Yes of course!

86. is it awkward when you run into your exes?
Hmm yes sometimes

87. have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
Yes

88. can you make yourself cry?
Yes

89. is your life simple or complicated?
Complicated

90. are you easily confused?
Yes

92. are you taller than 5'4??
I don't know how tall it is in cm, but I can assure you that I'm not taller than that

93. have you ever liked someone who treated you like crap?
Yes

94. is your current hair color mostly your natural hair color?
Yes

95. does everything really happen for a reason?
That's something I always believe

Taken from Ardelia's
And yea it's fun although sometimes it's confusing

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Hello

2009-09-22T02:20:00.001-07:00

Test test, I'm posting this post through email from my phone. Is it published? If it is, thanks to Ardelia and wait for Aqua I've promised to you Del hehe. But if it's not, then 'Awas kau Delia, kau menyesatkanku !' Hahaha peace dear :--)) I'm so excited to see if this post is published <3

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Buka?? Sahur kali!

2009-09-02T07:27:00.000-07:00

Ih sumpah deh gue ga tau gue kenapa, aneh banget gue kemaren ckckck...... Hmm jadi kemaren gue adalah bener2 bego dan kaya linglung abis gitu. Gue pulang sekolah dan ngga inget apa-apa sama sekali. Yang gue inget adalah gue langsung tidur, dan yaudah itu aja realita yang gue inget dengan jelas.

Kayanya sih gue tidur lama banget gitu, sampe gue denger suara kakak gue dan akhirnya percakapan antara gue yang agak linglung dengan kakak gue itu terjadi :

Titis (T) : "Bin, maghrib tuh, buka loh"
Binar (B) : dgn entengnya menjawab "Hm." (tidak menggerakkan tubuh sama sekali)
T : (bingung) "Woy bin, buka itu buka"
B : (langsung bangun) "Hah??! Maghrib?! Saur kali! (dengan sangat begonya)
T : "Hah? Maghrib woy maghrib, aneh banget sih kamu"
B : "Haaaaaaahhhh? masa maghrib? Terus kenapa aku bisa pake piyama?" (melihat ke badan sendiri dan bingung, kenapa gue pake piyama)
T : "Lah, tau... Aku juga tadi bingung ngapain juga kamu jam segini pake piyama"
B : .............

Freak abis? Emang, banget! Gue langsung lari turun, membatalkan puasa dan mengecek keadaan sekitar untuk meyakinkan dri gue bahwa itu benar2 maghrib, bukan dini hari. Kenapa gue pake piyama siang2? Jawabannya adalah : "Ngga tau". Mungkin waktu itu gue mikir biar adem kali ya, haha lupa juga gue............

........

2009-08-27T21:45:00.001-07:00

Last night i was having a very long chat with my sister. Well, actually I'm not that close to her. I mean, we're close, but not as close as I am with my brother. That long talk led me to imagine many things. I'm grateful of who I am and what I've got, I really am. But last night was a great night. I didn't regret that I barely had enough time to study History for today's exam, I enjoyed it and it was worth it.

We talked about 'those' happy and lucky people. I'm sure they're the best. All the story kak Titis told me dazzled me. The touching one and even the annoying one. The touching one made me cry, yes i'm easy to cry. (Everytime I hear, watch, see or feel a very sensitive; sad, touching, overwhelming condition, my tears just easily stream down my face and I just can't handle).

There's this lucky girl, very lucky and I believe strongly that she's potential. But kak Titis told me that she refused her luck. She cancelled every plan she had made and every effort she had been through. It's insane! Yea, considering there are many many pupils out there craving to have the luck to get that rare chance, maybe including me.

And I understand perfectly the disappointment kak Titis felt. I'm sure there's no error in judgement, and I'm sure that they are worth it but it might be just because the timing was not right. Maybe that's why they were unable to show their real potential.

It's the best they can get, and I'm sure they're the best ones to be given that opportunity. When I knew I failed, I was sad, but I do believe that's the best Allah wants me to get. And I believe also that I'll have my own way. And I'm proud of myself for being much more mature that I was before. I'm grateful of the life I've got. And I just can't tell you how balance my life is in these last 3months..........

Life is great when you see it from the right point of view :)

........

2009-08-27T21:44:00.001-07:00

Thanks, you really made my day! :)

2009-08-21T01:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday : I went to airport, saying goodbye to Dita, Luna and Zarvan. And then I went to Senayan City to watch 'The Proposal' with him. The movie was crazy and okay. I enjoyed it, I really did. Thanks! I perfectly understand that it was just not right, but honestly you really made my day. Yesterday was so much fun! I'm waiting, you know........ waiting everything to change, I love you and if only it were just enough. We are working on getting this fixed, aren't we?

Beberapa hal yg bisa gue kasih tau

2009-08-13T17:58:00.001-07:00

Hello! Thanks for your comment on my latest post. Thanks also for congratulating me. I really appreciate it! :)

Oke, selama beberapa hari ini gue merasa terjadi perubahan besar dari diri gue. Salah satunya mungkin status. Gue ga akan jelasin secara detil gimana proses ataupun alesannya, karena gue ga yakin semua pd ngerti gmn posisi gue..

Gue cuma mau bilang bahwa it's never been easy for me. Kita sama2 tau apa kesalahan kita, tapi apa kita mampu ngerubahnya atau....... memperbaikinya? Kita berusaha bertanya pada diri sendiri, dan berusaha nyari jalan yg terbaik. Tapi gue tau dan sadar, yg terbaik yg Allah kasih belum tentu jadi hal yg menyenangkan buat kita..

Suer, ini ga gampang, gue jg ga bilang that the fault was entirely his own. Gue ga menutup diri buat balik, tapi kalo emang itu terjadi gue pribadi berharap kita bisa mulai dari nol. Kita harus sama2 dewasa, mesti ngerti satu sama lain, toleransi, atur emosi dan sama2 berusaha peka sama kondisi satu sama lain.
1tahun itu lama loh, dan jangka waktu itu udah bikin hidup gue berubah. Gue ga mau munafik, gue emang masih sayang sayang sama dia. Masalahnya, bukan cuma sayang yg dibutuhin dalam suatu hubungan.
Mungkin beberapa orang bisa bertahan hanya dengan rasa sayang, tapi gue ngga. Butuh banyak faktor pendukung lain selain perasaan.

Selama 1tahun tentu aja udah banyak bgt kesempatan2 buat lbh memperbaiki diri masing2. Tapi ternyata sama2 dari kita ga bisa manfaatin kesempatan itu. Kesempatan udah dateng lebih dari 2kali, tapi ga bisa dong kita terus2an berharap sama kesempatan2 yg sebenernya belum tentu selalu ada lagi.

Hm, mungkin cukup itu aja yg perlu gue tulis di sini. Semoga ga ada pandangan2 negatif lagi, dan semoga juga ini bisa membuat semuanya jadi lebih clear. Thanks :)

-Binar S. Suryandari-

BRONZE, it's way beyond my expectation

2009-08-08T04:30:00.000-07:00

I got bronze medal in my Economy Olympiad, and for me it's way too cool because it's beyond my expectation! Alhamdulillah......................................... Thanks for your support, friends!

August 8th

2009-08-08T04:22:00.000-07:00

Hello, happy 1st anniversary for me and Avian! :)

My OSN week

2009-08-06T21:14:00.000-07:00

Hellooooooooo! Right now, I'm at the hotel where I have to stay during my OSN test. Thanks to Allah, it's almost done! The test was horribly difficult, especially the essay part. And the most nervous part is when I had to do my makalah presentation in front of the juries.

But I'm really happy to know that in 3 days I will start my 'normal' routine again. Maybe not so normal, knowing that I haven't studied anything in my class, and it means I have to study harder than my other friends to get all the knowledge and lesson they've learnt.

Tomorrow is the announcement day. I'm not nervous at all. Because at least I can have this great experience, meeting many pupils from all around Indonesia, seeing how money is printed, having the simulation games of stocks in Indonesia Stock Exchange, going to Bank of Indonesia and many more. It's been crazily great..

I'm going home on Sunday, and I'm very excited about it. Can't wait to have my normal routine again! See you in school folks!

-Binar S. Suryandari, SMA Negeri 8, D.K.I. Jakarta-

Can't feel anything?

2009-08-02T02:51:00.001-07:00

Mau tau? I just got home on July 29th, after having such crazily tiring days in a hotel where I (and other friends) had to study Economy non-stop for 7days! Everyday we had to study from 8am till 10pm. Isn't that crazy?

I cried, not only because I missed my home, but also because I'm stressed, too much pressure, and I'm seriously scared. Right at the moment, I think I can't feel anything. I don't know what to do, what to feel, and I'm just surrounded by emptiness. This is definitely the toughest phase in my life. I don't really like Economy. But I believe, Allah has brought me this far for a reason. I'm lucky, being selected to go this far when there are hundreds of pupils want to have it too.

I'm not medal-oriented. I know I won't take the free-pass to FEUI if I can get gold medal. FEUI is not my purpose. All I want is proof. I hope by doing this I can prove myself, make the smiles appear on my parents' faces with their thumbs up. Ahhhh I wanna cry!!!!!!!!!!

Tomorrow is the beginning of my scaring days. I'll be staying in a hotel for a week and during my staying I'll also have my olympiad. The olympiad test consists of 4 kinds of test. Multiple choice, Essay, The making of makalah & Presentation, Stock and Invention Games. Isn't that scary or what?

Hmm I don't know, I cannot study and I haven't packed my stuff. I always hate packing. Can someone do it for me? Hehehe please pray for me and wish me luck. I'm very scared and afraid (especially of the makalah & presentation, considering my lackness of knowledge in Economy). Good byeeeee :)

What I should have written days ago

2009-07-14T23:04:00.000-07:00

Holiday?
It had been great! I always had something to do everyday. My mom turned to be very kind, she granted almost all my wishes. And Kak Titis and her team are the runner up in that International Law Competition in Brisbane I had told you before.

# Diklat Puapala? Don't ask, it's just for Puapala Family. Besides all the problems we had, I am glad that it went great.
# Bandung! : Well I know how silly I am, for having been in Bandung only 3times, but yes it's true.. But this time, I went there with my greatest friends. Nessa, Dhini, Tika, Dami, Anti, Ava, Dinda, Olvy (Well actually I hoped Uthe and Distie could join us, but they couldn't because of yea reasonable reason). Everything was great, except the tears and a kind of allergy I was having. Miss you already guys hehehe

Hmm when I was still in Tajur, Diklat Puapala, I got a very great message that until now I still can't believe! I passed the Province Economy Olympiade! From my school, only 2 of us passed to National Olympiad, Chaerunissa and I. Unbelievable, isn't it? Big thanks to those who had congratulated me. Well, wish us luck, friends..
Yesterday I got a letter of invitation from 'Departemen Pendidikan Nasional', the letter says that I will be staying in Kaesar Hotel in Duren Tiga on August 3rd - August 9th (which means I have to ignore my 1st Anniversary with Avian on August 8th.......) to have my National Olympiad. Until at the moment, I'm still not confident, I'm very afraid and a little bit scared. And I'm very disappointed with my school. All Olympiade subjects club is trained by a proper teacher except Economy and Kebumian (sorry can't find the right word to replace this hhehe). It's very disappointing! Icha and I have to study all by ourselves? Don't expect too much then.

SCHOOLYMPIC CARNIVAL 2009! Come and join us in this big event held by SMA Negeri 8 Jakarta. Let's carnivalize the youth in you! I really hope I can come and contribute myself in this great event but at that very moment, I would probably be somewhere else, study Economy to prepare for my National Olympiad -_- I really want to go to Schoolympic!!!!! But what can I do? Let's see whether I can come or not.................

Those are things I should have written days ago, but as usual, I had problem with my internet connection. Thanks a lot folks, and pleaseeeeeeeee wish me luck ;) !

Today and Tomorrow

2009-06-30T06:23:00.000-07:00

I don't know what to post, I am not in a good mood actually.

Bad hair day
Going to school to get nothing (Puapala promised to have an important meeting, but yea 2hours after the due time, the meeting hadn't even started, and my father picked me up)
Coincidentally meet my friends without knowing what they were going to do (maybe hanging out?)
Almost all friends who met me this morning told me that I was getting really fatter
Having had to meet my boyf for less than 1hour only
Going to Monas with my little cousin from Solo and grandma which was very tiring and Oh My God it was really hot out there
Having lunch tooo much (okay I was making myself fatter)
Having a very bad stomacache because of you-know, woman's cycle
And right now, I am alone at Rakha's room, having insufficient credit to send messages or make a call.

Tomorrow, well going to airport to say goodbye to Kak Titis. That's my exact plan (cannot be changed or replaced) for tomorrow. I don't know what to do with the rest of my time. The other plan is just still not clear. Wish you have a good day tomorrow, friends!

Arlin Indah O-15 Family! (Siblings)

2009-06-28T22:17:00.000-07:00

Nah ini ttg kakak adek gue yang dua2 nya 'SUPER'!

3. Kak Titis : Titis Lintang Andari (June 29th 1986)

Nah ini adalah kakak gue. Dia anak sulung yang punya 2 adik yaitu gue dan rakha. Kak titis ini sekarang udah kuliah di UI Faculty of Law. Dia berjilbab, mirip gue (jadi kalo lo bilang kakak gue cantik ya berarti gue juga hehe). Kakak gue ini menurut gue aneh buanget. Dia kalo lagi gila bisa parah banget men. Pernah dia saking gilanya nyuruh gue motoin dia yang lagi meliuk2an badan nya sendiri sampe membentuk huruf2 TITIS. Gila ga tuh? dan dia ngga gendut, ga kaya gue. Hobby makan padahal.

Gue inget banget pernah kita sekeluarga makan di nasi liwet. Gue pesen setengah porsi dan sudah kenyang sedangkan dia pesen 1porsi dan nambah 6 kali yang berarti dia telah memakan 7 porsi nasi liwet! Gila? EMANG. Dan dia juga punya hobby lain yaitu bermain lagu bersama adek gue. Sering banget tiap malem gue kebangun gara2 mendengar mereka menyanyi semuya lagu barat yang di bahasa indonesiain. Kaya smacam "Kami Juaranya" (we're the champion) "Tembok Hebat"(wonderwall) "Seluruh Dunia yg Baru"(a whole new world). Dan seluruh liriknya berbahasa indonesia yang tepat diartikan dari lirik aslinya. Dan ada lagi, kadang adek gue suka ikut nge beat boxing mengiringi kakak gue nyanyi. Malah kadang rakha menambahkan lirik sendiri yaitu : E A E O yang dinyanyikan terus sampai lagu habis.

Gue ga bisa boong kalo gue kadang kesel juga sama kakak gue ini. Dia moody banget. Kalo moodnya jelek, dia bisa jadi galak dan egois banget. tapi berhubung gue udah hampir 17 tahun jadi adeknya yaaaa udah biasa aja. Tapi kakak gue dibalik smua keanehannya, dia pinter banget. She's an expert kalo masalah bahasa Inggris. Gimana ngga? Ikut program beasiswa penuh ke Amrik setahun dan emang dari kecil udah pinter englishnya. Jago debat. Yaiyalah, dia dari SMA udah ikut debat2an gitu dan skarang masuk FHUI dan ikut lomba2 yang agak2 debat juga gitu.

Yah begitulah kakak gue yang mukanya rada jutek tapi kadang bisa jadi gila. Hm yang paling gue gasuka adalah kalo dia menganggap gue anak paling gaul se-Jakarta yang mainstream. Buset padahal ngga lah. I want to be different, kalo gue bisa beda kenapa harus ikut2an mainstream? Nah darisitu gue bisa menyimpulkan kalo dia gasuka mainstream. Dia ga suka pake celana cucut yang dipake semua orang. Kalo gue sih cuma nyari warna, masalah model : sedapetnya.

Kakak gue bukan orang fashion, tapi seleranya bagus. Dia beda, and not trying to be Gaul. Dia gaul menurut gue, bukan karena baju2nya oke, stylist atau apapun (walaupun bukan berarti dia ga oke cara berpakaiannya) tapi karena dia punya sangat banyak kenalan. Gue kagum sama dia tapi tidak pernah berusaha menjadi miniaturnya. Kebetulan kita banyak kesamaan, tapi bukan karena gue ngikutin dia. Kebetulan aja kesukaan kami dalam berkegiatan itu sama. Oleh karena itulah gue ga suka kalo disama2in atau dibanding2in sama kakak gue. Gue cuma pengen jd org sukses kaya dia, tapi gue ga ngikutin jalannya, gue punya jalan gue sendiri.

4. Rakha : Rakha Agung Suryandaru (November 23rd 1995)

Rakha itu adek gue. Dia sekarang naek kelas 2 SMP. Urusa sekolah dia beda 4 tahun sama gue. Tapi umur sebenernya gue cuma beda 3 tahun kok sama doi. Dia emang masih kelas 2 SMP, tapi dia udah tinggi. Lebih tinggi dari gue. Mungkin karena gue yang pendek, soalnya dia sering bilang dia termasuk yg pendek di sekolah hehe. Nah akhir2 ini gue emang deket sama adek gue. yaaaa sekitar 1-2 tahun belakangan ini lah gue deketnya. Dia sekarang udah sewasa banget. Gue sering curhat sama dia ttg semua hal.

Adek gue ini dulu waktu kecil ga bisa ngomong. Bajaj = Etesh, Kecap = Kwaweh. Aneh kan? Nyokap gue sampe takut ada kelainan sama dia. Sampe akhirnya nyokap gue masukkin dia ke sekolah bicara supaya dia bisa ngomong. Dan sekarang gue agak menyesal dia ikut sekolah bicara, soalnya sekarang dia malah jadi bawel banget men hehe ampun rakha. Lucu deh jadi kakak dia, soalnya perkembangannya dia dari kecil tuh lucu banget. Dia dulu ngga mau dipanggil 'dek'. Dia bisa marah sampe nangis kalo dipanggil 'dek'. Dia maunya dipanggil 'mas'. Emang dasar mas-mas hehehe

Rakha ini atlet. Dia pernah juara se Asia. Yap, dia atlet karate. Dia terkenal banget di dunianya. Berulang kali masuk TV gara2 orang2 mau ngeliput kegiatan karateannya. Yah begitulah. Padahal dulu gue inget banget, waktu umur 3 tahun mama gue pernah bawa ke tempat latian karate buat daftarin dia, tapi yang ada malah dia nangis ketakutan dipukul dan ditendangin, eh taunya malah sekarang jadi Atlet. Ckckck

Adek gue ini sering dapet duit dari hadiah juara tandingnya, dan dia adalah salah satu orang yang menafkahi gue. HAHAHA karena kalo dia menang pasti dia bagi2 duit, makanya gue selalu mendoakan dia menang hehehe. Yang paling lucu dari dia adalah duluuuuuu bgt dia pernah bilang gini ama gue :

R : Kak binar ih apaan sih masih kecil ud pacaran. Aku ntar gamau pacaran. Langsung nikah aja.

Beberapa tahun kemudiaaan.....

R : Kak binar nih pacaran mulu, aku nanti pacarannya pas kuliah aja sekali terus lgsg nikah.

Beberapa tahun kemudian.......

R : Hmm ngga deng kak, kayanya aku pacarannya pas SMA hehehe

Beberapa tahun kemudian.......

R : Kak, mungkin aku SMP udah pacaran kali hahahahaha

So, where's the consistency Rakhaaaa?????? hahaha gapapa kok namanya juga manusiaaaa banyak godaan kan kan kan??? hehehe

Yah itulah cerita keluarga gue yang gila. Mungkin kurang gila kalo cuma lewat kata2. yaaa lo harus rasakan menjadi gue hidup di tengah2 crazy but lovely family ini........

Arlin Indah O-15 Family! (Parents)

2009-06-28T21:32:00.000-07:00

In this post I would like to tell you about my whole family, but to make it more fun I'm gonna use Bahasa Indonesia!
Akhir2 ini gue bener2 kaya lagi kangen banget sama keluarga gue, maunya sama mereka muluuuu dan lo harus tau knapa gue bisa segini sayang nya sama mereka hahaha (sebenernya pengen gue tambahin foto tapi gue lagi ga dirumah jadi susah deh nyari fotonya)

1. Bapak : Ir. H. Guritno Priyo Hutomo (June 6th 1959)

Oke itu nama Bapak gue, jangan dimaenin ye awas lo kalo dimaenin. Haha pertama yang aneh adalah sebenernya bokap gue itu adalah tidak lahir tgl 6 Juni, beliau lahir tgl 12 Juni. tapi mengapa seluruh keluarga dan teman2nya merayakan ultahnya tgl 6 Juni? Karena ternyata saat pembuatan akte kelahiran, tanggal dan bulannya tertukar dengan tanggal bulan lahirnya om gue. Gila aneh kan? Masa tanggal lahir bisa dirayakan hampir seminggu sebelum hari-H? hahaha. Dan bokap gue ini adalah seorang arsitek sekaligus seniman. Rumah gue 'aneh' berkat beliau, dan ada rumah paling bagus sekomplek gue dan itu berkat beliau pula. Bokap gue juga seniman, ada banyak lukisan dia di rumah gue, dan menurut gue semua lukisannya itu 'ngga wajar'. (silahkan datang ke rumah untuk melihatnya). Beliau pernah memanjangkan rambut hingga sepinggang dan dinobatkan sebagai rambut panjang terindah di rumah gue. Tapi akhirnya beliau potong rambut karena harus menunaikan ibadah haji.

Yang pernah ngeliat bokap gue pasti tau bahwa gue mendapatkan semua appearance gue ini dari dia. Gue adalah fotokopiannya dia versi tidak mempunyai janggut. Dan beliau selalu mengenakan kemeja putih. Ini adalah percakapan gue sama dia dahulu kala :

B = Binar

G = Guritno

G : Kamu nih kalo mau pergi aja kok bingung mau pake baju apa, semua dikeluarin.

B : Iya dong pak kan malu kalo pake baju itu2 terus

G : Kamu liat bapak dong, smua bajunya kemeja putih. Jadi orang2 ga bakal mikir knapa bajunya itu2 lagi ya karena emang semua bajunya di tiap event sama. Iya kan?

B : Hahahaha iya deh (tersenyum kagum betapa tidak mainstreamnya ayahku ini)

Bokap gue itu kalo marah serem, tapi dia lebih sering melucu dibanding marah. Setiap pagi dia masak untuk anak2nya. Bukan karena ngga ada yg bisa masak, tapi karena dia emang suka masak. Bekal gue pun yang bawain dia. Dan emang dasar seniman, makanannya pun di tata sedemikian rapinya bahkan nasinya dicetak menggunakan cangkir.

Bokap gue dulu vegetarian, dia bilang dia mau jadi orang sakti yg makannya cm sayur dan tempe tahu. Tapi nampaknya beliau tidak kuat. Setelah hampir 2 tahun menjadi vegetarian, beliau pun menyerah. Beliau jago gitar dan harmonika. Sukanya maen sama Rakha sambil ngomongin band2 jaman dahulu kala. Dulu waktu kecil, gue selalu dibelain kalo lagi dimarahin sama nyokap gue. Makanya gue selalu merasa beliau ini sayang banget sama gue

2. Mama : Drg. Hj. Hajar Noer Hayati (October 30th 1959)

Nah ini mama gue yang cantik. Bener deh menurut gue mama gue ini termasuk mama yang terawat, putih cantik walaupun wajahnya agak galak. Mama gue ini sebenernya doktergigi. gue inget banget dulu mama suka praktek di rumah waktu rumah gue masih di daerah cipinang indah. Waktu udah pindah, setiap gue mau cabut gigi, mama selalu bawa alat2nya kerumah dengan rasa2 strawberry enak yg bikin cabutannya berasa ga sakit. Semua gigi gue yg nyabut mama gue (dan diri gue sendiri kalo ga sengaja). Tapi mama gue bukan ahli orthodentist yg bisa makein behel ke orang2, tapi berkat beliaulah gue memakai behel dulu bersama kakak gue atas bawah (brarti 4 rahang) cuma sekitar 8jt. Dan karena mama dokter pula lah yang mengakibatkan semua biaya yang berhubungan dgn kesehatan gue dan keluarga gue menjadi sangat murah.

Gue bingung, knapa anak2nya ga mirip2 banget sm nyokap. kan gue bisa jadi putih cantik kalo mirip nyokap hahaha ngayal abis. Mama gue ini lebih serius dibanding bokap. Tapi suka bercanda juga si mama. Mama ini jago nawar kalo belanja. Dan nawarnya ngga nanggung2, bisa sampe 75% ckck. Makanya mama ini partner belanja yang oke. Mama tiap hari cerita ttg pekerjaannya yang sebenernya ga gue ngerti, tapi seneng aja dengernya, soalnya kalo ga denger berarti mama ga ada hehe. Mama gue kayanya sedikit lebih tinggi dari bokap gue. Yaaaa begitulah mengapa gue dapet gen pendek hehehe peace buat mama dan bapak.

Yaaa itulah ttg nyokap bokap gue. Dan post selanjutnya adalah ttg Kakak dan Adek gue ...........!

Report? Holiday?

2009-06-28T18:38:00.000-07:00

I have received my report. I had never been that nervous just to receive my report. My dad knew that I was really nervous. If my report had been awful, my dad would have had to save more money for my way to university. Yea I expect a lot from my report. And another reason why I was that nervous is because I didn't do my Final Sumatif Exam completely! I just had 5 subjects done, and the others were allowed not to be done because of osn-thing. Well it was relieving knowing that I didn't have to do all subjects, but i also made me nervous because I didn't know whether I would really have good scores on them or not hmm hm..

So, report? Actually I don't know what to comment. I've got two 70s on my report. 79 on Bahasa and 76 on Sport. Yea but it still makes sense because I like neither hahaha. My mom told my dad and my brother that my scores were great (thanks!), but they didn't say it to me directly. Well actually my scores are fine, they're good. Except those two subjects on which I got 70s. But yes, they're not better than my 1st semester report, but it's still okay.

Holiday? Still busy but I'm sure it'll be great! I'll have my friend come from NY (Dhini), we'll hang out together with my other bestfriends and we'll go to Bandung (which will be my third time being there) and I'll have Diklat in Tajur with my Puapala family.

July 1st, my sister are going to participate in a mooting competition, yea international law student competition which will be held in Brisbane, and in the same day Dhini is coming to Jakarta, and maybe there's also someone I know is coming to Jakarta too hehe. Today is my sister's birthday, but we are not doing or buying anything for her because my mom will give her alot of money when she's leaving jakarta on Wednesday and that's the present she asked. Please folks, wish my sister luck! UI was the world champion last year (my sister was on the team too), so I hope they can still be the champion again. My sister told me that this year will be harder than last year and this year my sister is chosen to be main speaker in all competition. So please wish her luck and wish me luck tooo with my holiday and our big Puapala event: Diklat! I want this holiday to be fun!

Weird

2009-06-25T03:15:00.000-07:00

I just got home yesterday after 3 days away from Arlin Indah O-15. DPA/TPA LKS went crazily tiring and fun but the juniors were just awfully disappointing. I won't tell the details about the event because it'll be a loooooong story.
So after I reached home, I slept and I woke in the middle of the night because my cellphone rang. "Who on earth is calling me at time like this? It's bedtime for God's sake!". But then I looked into my phone, felt surpised and wondered. It was a call from an old friend. I enjoyed our conversation, I really did. But I know it's just not right. I could hear that sometimes you said something you shouldn't have. But again, I knew what I was doing. So trust me, I was just trying not to be rude to anybody.

P.S : I miss my giraffe, I don't know whether you feel the same way too. But what the hell happen to our relationship? I'm angry, mad and sad everytime I looked into my phone and found nothing. Even sometimes when I send you messages you just reply it in a very annoying ways! That's why I decided not to reply it again, hoping that you'd understand what you did. I need nothing but your maturity, dear.. Can't you just keep me informed or make me comfortable?

Immaturity

2009-06-19T01:08:00.000-07:00

Immaturity is the incapacity to use one's intelligence without the guidance of another.

Immanuel Kant

Inconsistencies in men are generally testimony to their immaturity.

Edwin Louis Cole

What is immaturity? It's the opposite of maturity. And this is the pshycological definition of maturity, which will help you understand what immaturity means.. : Maturity is a psychological term used to indicate that a person responds to the circumstances or environment in an appropriate manner. This response is generally learned rather than instinctual, and is not determined by one's age. Maturity also encompasses being aware of the correct time and place to behave and knowing when to act in serious or non-serious ways. Maturity is something of personal character, or how one acts in stressful or difficult situations, because then a person's true ability to react to a situation can be seen. Fake social interactions are often misjudged as many people rely on outward appearance to mask inner strengths/weaknesses so as to present a simpler version of oneself to the world

Immaturity is something that everyone has, even a mature human can have their own immaturity side. But the problem is, how if a person has big capacity of immaturity?

Memorable Events

2009-06-19T00:53:00.000-07:00

Can't wait for the 'Pemantapan Akhir' LKS thing and Diklat Puapala! It must be tiring yet very cool! I already got those events like a year ago, and they will always be patched on my mind. Those activities helped me a lot on my 'character-building' thing. And I hope my juniors will feel the same way too. And hopefully those events will be memorable for them! Enjoy it, juniors ;) !

Yes it is...........

2009-06-08T23:12:00.000-07:00

"Life Is Wonderful"

It takes a crane to build a crane

It takes two floors to make a story

It takes an egg to make a hen

It takes a hen to make an egg

There is no end to what I'm saying

It takes a thought to make a word

And it takes some words to make an action

It takes some work to make it work

It takes some good to make it hurt

It takes some bad for satisfaction

La la la la la la la life is wonderful

Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful

Al la la la la

It takes a night to make it dawn

And it takes a day to make you yawn brother

And it takes some old to make you young

It takes some cold to know the sun

It takes the one to have the other

And it takes no time to fall in love

But it takes you years to know what love is

It takes some fears to make you trust

It takes those tears to make it rust

It takes the dust to have it polished

Ha la la la la la la life is wonderful

Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle

Ah la la la la la la life is so full of

Ah la la la la la la life is so rough

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful

Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle

Ah la la la la la la life is our love

Ah la la la la la

It takes some silence to make sound

It takes a loss before you found it

And it takes a road to go nowhere

It takes a toll to make you care

It takes a hole to make a mountain

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful

Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle

Ha la la la la la life is wonderful

Ha la la la la la life is meaningful

Ha la la la la la life is wonderful

Ha la la la la la life it is...so... wonderful

It is so meaningful

It is so wonderful

It is meaningful

It is wonderful

It is meaningful

It goes full circle

Wonderful

Meaningful

Full circle

Wonderful

Yea the lyrics is just true! Life is wonderful because it goes full circle. And to feel the beauty of life you have to feel the badness of life first. You can look up at people who are above you to make you motivated to learn and struggle harder to have life like theirs. But don't forget to look at people whose life is harder to be grateful to The Almighty and feel how lucky you are. That's why life is wonderful....

My alarm rang

2009-06-08T22:27:00.000-07:00

On June 6th 2009:
Happy Birthday to my dad! Wow cool, now you are half-a-century old, dear Dad!
I love you, and I know, So do your wife, and your other children.. This is my only wish for you : I wish you could be a vegetarian again who always eat only vegetables and tofu (hehehe) and stop eating meat. Come on, don't quit being a vegetarian, please just eat what you used to eat :)

On June 8th 2009:
Wow it's been 10 months since we talked on that street, laughing and being stared by other people who passed the street, and then I answered your weird but lovely question.. I love you Avian Andikaaaaa :)))))

La la la

2009-05-31T23:04:00.001-07:00

Finally! I have nothing to do today.. No OSN, and my teacher told me (and the other OSN students) that we didn't have to go to school to do Sumatif test today. They'll arrange a special schedule when the OSN students and I can do our Sumatif. Well, it's good! considering that I haven't studied anything besides Economy and Accountancy, hehehe ;D

I'll be having three days off anything; Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Today I'm having nothing to do, but maybe I'm going to school at 3pm to meet my PO and Avian. Tomorrow and Wednesday I'm going to study Economy&Accountancy for OSN again with my friends. It can be at school, or at my teacher's house in Pasar Minggu. And if it is in Pasar Minggu, I may meet my Junior high friend; Kevin. Hahaha but I think it's better to study for OSN than to do my Sumatif when I'm not ready at all! Yea, wish me luck in anything folks!

Friendship

2009-05-30T04:20:00.000-07:00

I deserve my enemies with no doubt, but I don't believe I deserve my best friends..

If someone asks me whether I have best friends or not, I will answer 'Yes, of course I do!'
But this is what I want you to know.......
Maybe I'm not the type of person who likes to have intense relationship between best friends like phoning you everyday, chatting with you everytime, or calling you straightly when I want to cry.
But, you know, I still think you're my best friends.. Maybe I don't tell you my story regularly, but I left a piece of my heart in you. Sometimes I feel like a stranger when we talk to each other, knowing how little I know about you guys, but then I realised that it's the consequence of being my type of person. Love you and miss you so much peopleee!

to: Nessa Dami Utha Distie Dhini Ava Anti Tika Dinda Olvy

I wish I hadn't needed to live this day

2009-05-30T04:05:00.000-07:00

Today has been awful! I hate today and I think maybe it would have been better if i hadn't woken up at all this morning. Everything just went totally wrong! But again I succeeded managing myself from crying. Well, I'm not sad, I'm just mad at anything!

Please someone, cheer me up..... But don't ask me why I'm mad, because I won't tell you why..

May 28th 2009

2009-05-28T06:23:00.001-07:00

Happy 17th Birthday Aviaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!
Well, no more to write, because I've already written it on those papers I gave you personally.
I love you :)

Overwhelmed

2009-05-28T05:39:00.000-07:00

Yea that's what I'm feeling, overwhelmed.... My head has been full of unimportant things, which actually don't need to think about, but yes those things really disturb me.
Lately I just discovered how fake this world is. Not everything in this world are real and even I just found out that I am surrounded by lies and fakes. After being awfully sick for a week, I learnt a lot about life. It's not about my illness, but it's about the hurting realities which occured after my being sick. And yes, everything's just overwhelming..
I didn't cry, but my heart was always beating fast when I knew that I was facing that hurting realities. It happened not just once. Well, as time goes by, I'm getting stronger.
I figured out many lessons of life in my highschool moments and then I realised, "Yea, highschool life is just fake." You can't know which people are kind to you and which are not, because you don't know what they are talking behind your back. Even sometimes maybe you just don't realise (because there are people who are good at being fake) when something hurting occurs right under your nose.
Overwhelmed is just the perfect word to describe how I'm feeling. My head and my heart is just full and tired of working too hard. My head has been used to think and digest all words that I've heard. My heart has been used to feel how hurt and manage myself from streaming my tears..
Don't be fake, people. Don't smile if you don't want to. Don't pretend to be the kindest person on earth if you still do backstabbing. Don't pretend to be something that you are not. Because being fake is totally unacceptable...

Lucky? Not really this time

2009-05-28T05:14:00.000-07:00

I am a very lucky person or maybe the luckiest! I passed my Economy Olympiad again. Double U-O-Double U : WOW! Thank goodness for this luck but this time I can't really focus on this thing and it's because of the Sumatif I-should-be-having thing. I worry about my scores, I worry about the Sumatif I'll-be-having-alone.
Mom said to me that I should have focused on this Olympiad, because I had already missed the class many times! And how awful it is if I can't keep up my work in this Economy things when I can't follow the lessons in school either. I will mess both of them up. And actually I don't feel like I'm gonna pass the Olympiade again because I know that the others are much better than I am. That's why I worry about all these things..........

Too tiring week?

2009-05-17T19:37:00.000-07:00

Yeah maybe.. This week has been crazily tiring! Yeah, I got 3 days off from school because of the Final School Examination for the 12-graders. Well, I kinda forget how i spent those 3 days, but all I know is I had no time staying at home. I spent it easily by going anywhere (Well I just totally forget where I went, because you know, my memory is a short-term-memory).
But, I remember something............. Tuesday night, I was told that someone from school called my house, and said that I had to join OSN Study Club in SMA 48. Well that meant I didn't have to study at school on Thursday and Friday! Yeah, you would think it was fun, but not for me. Because I already knew that studying Economy all day is much more tiring that studying at school with many friends you already knew.
It's not that I am not proud of my achievement being in the fourth rank in South Jakarta for Economy OSN, but I have to admit that I don't like Economy that much. But I am very grateful of this achievement. Soooo day 1 and day 2 of that Study Club went tiring enough, and still I had to prepare for the 'Drama Musikal' XI IPS 2010.
Saturday, it was D-Day when I had to take the selection test. Well, there were 125 pupils from all around DKI Jakarta, and 25 of those 125 were about to be eliminated. The test was awfully difficult. So I don't hope much, I don't wish for the highest rank, I just wish there are 25 people who are dumber than me hehehehe :D After the test, my friends and I went straightly to school to do the Dramus which went spectacularly cool!
Sunday and today? I'm sick. My parents told me it's because I am hardly home, I went anywhere anytime. Yeah, maybe I'm just too tired. I'm not going school today, I've got terrible fever and cough since yesterday :( hhhhhhhhhhhh I hope I can get well soon!

No pressure?

2009-04-27T05:45:00.000-07:00

Is it? You might say there's no pressure, but for me it's definitely so much pressure.....
I always say that this whole life, my whole life, everything I do in life is dedicated to you. It is glued in my mind that you're the ones to whom I dedicate my life. You are my highest priority. Making you smile, or just seeing you showing me your thumbs is something I would do anything for. They've proved their ability, their special ability. Trust me guys, I'm working on it.
And just so you know, I love you sooo much, more than I love anyone else even myself................

And the award for 'Miss Lebay' goes to......

2009-04-25T07:28:00.000-07:00

Oh noooooooooo! Gue ngga lebay kooooook...... Semua berawal dari Puapala 35 yang menyematkan secara tak terlihat predikat 'Miss Lebay' itu ke gue. Gue ngga selebay yang kalian bayangkan ataupun yang mereka umbar2kan. Sueeeeeer deh. Dimana titik lebay nyaaaa? Gue hanya terlalu vokal dalam menyampaikan setiap pendapat gue yang akhirnya memunculkan kata-kata 'mau mati', 'parah', maupun 'sedunia'. Masa kalo gue lagi ngomong sampe orang2 bilang "Kalo Binar ngomong jangan terlalu percaya, dia kan 90% nya lebay." Heeeehhh enak sajaaaaaa!
Ayo teman-teman Puapala 35, jelaskanlah kepada orang2 awam di luar sana bahwa gue ngga selebay yang kalian umbar2kan hehehe iyaaaa kaaan? Hm tapi pun kalo pun emang iya, yaudah deh gapapa juga, gue jadi punya trademark deh (walaupun jelek) hahahaha

Pertentangan Masa Depan

2009-04-25T07:21:00.001-07:00

Kayanya masa depan gue bener2 masih jadi pertentangan. Kenapa? Because I still insist on being a supermama diplomat. Emang sesusah itu kah yaaa? Bukan cuma itu, jangankan jadi seorang mama, bahkan banyak banget yang bilang gue bakal susah punya suami kalo gue tetep bersikeras pengen jadi diplomat. Wooooy hidup gue nih men! Emang ga bisa ya tetep kerja sebagai diplomat, tetep nikah, punya anak dan tetep deket sama anak2 nya? Waduuuuh jangan patahkan keinginan gue dong teman2, hahahaha pertentangan memang.

How I spent my holiday

2009-04-25T06:47:00.000-07:00

Saturday : Latfis Puapala + LKS 2009 & having Iriph and Niken in my room
Sunday : E-Comp ALSA and following my sister ALL DAY!
Monday : Rapat Pentaru with my Super PO
Tuesday : Ice skating with Avian, Iriph, Edwin, Niken
Wednesday : (thank God) being home all day
Thursday : Eval Puapala & hanging out with caang, Iriph, Malik, Taufan
Friday : Rapat Akhir Pentaru
Saturday : the day of super-exhausting Pentaru!

Tomorrow............
(Maybe and also I hope) being home all day long, having a long sleep :)

Another lesson

2009-04-25T06:21:00.000-07:00

It feels like it's been ages to me being not connected to the unreal internet world. Don't ask why, because I can assure you that there are soooooooooo many reasons why.
Well, I thought I could use this holiday to read over my books, but again it was just my wish. I still had a lot to do even in holiday! ckckck
Anyway, I learn a lot from this looooong holiday. The most important thing I've just learnt is If you want something, don't hope too much; because if you do, the possibility of not getting what you want is bigger. I have no theory about this, I just know it. If you want something, just do what you can do to get it, but just don't hope too much, pray to Allah. Allah knows what's best.

RAFTING!

2009-04-11T20:45:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was a real fun! Rafting went very well. After all those effort, it's worth it. Check out our rafting photos on Facebook, friends! I'm sure you will like and want to try to do rafting too :) Thanks to all Puapala 35 for making this event such a great fun. And thanks to the caang(s) for joining the rafting :)

3 words

2009-04-10T04:02:00.000-07:00

I love you...

Little summary of the days

2009-04-10T03:44:00.000-07:00

Great days! This 3days have been crazily fun! Ian's birthday, my adventure with puapala and quality time with my family.
Tomorrow will be another fun, especially for the puapala family. Cicatih river, here we go!
xoxo

Is it true?

2009-04-06T05:36:00.000-07:00

YES! I hope it's true. I expect a lot from that one. And I hope what I heard from my friend is true. Pray for me guys, wish me luck!

Confession?

2009-04-06T05:18:00.000-07:00

This morning I cried, not because I was sad. I cried because I realized how lucky I am in this big big world. I thank Allah for keeping myself healthy, normal, as good as I can expect. I just realized what I had done in the past 3 years. I always forgot (or sometimes was lazy) to do my pray. How awful. I hope now I'll have no disturbance to do my pray. Because I know that it is my duty as a human being in this temporary world to have a great great great joy after life.....

No time to read

2009-04-05T05:33:00.000-07:00

I have no time to read. Well, it's true! I bought several books on July 2008 but 'till now I haven't got the time or chance to read it. These are the books I'm willing to read (because you know, I spent much time thinking about what books to buy and of course I spent my money which actually I need to save if I really want to have a spectacular vacation in the end of the term) :

Sixty Lights; I'm sure I'll like this book. Because I'm interested by the language it's using. Its language is hard to understand and need some thinking. And also I picked this book because it's about a girl growing up in the Victorian world.

What I Loved; I think it's a serious but witty novel. Its language is also interesting. I'm sure it'll dazzle us by its touching story about love, loss and betrayal.

A Bus Could Run You Over; well actually I don't really like reading teenlit novel. But I thought it wasn't a really teenlit novel. I bought it to refresh my mind by its jokes.

And there's one book which is bought by my sister 2 or 3 years ago. Its title is 'The Courtesans Daughter'. I love this book because I learnt a lot from this book. The most interesting of this book is the culture, because its story is about the turbulent society of ancient Greece which I had never known before.

Cool books! I hope I can have time to read them over. Because actually I'm a reader. I finished reading Harry Potter 7 only in one day. I'm sure I'll like those books I bought. I just hardly have much time to spend on it.

Argumentative Text

2009-04-01T04:19:00.000-07:00

hey, I remembered that some time ago I wrote an argumentative text that should have been collected to Miss Desi. But I think she forgot that she had asked us to do that. So instead of letting it be unread, publishing it on this blog would be better. Please have a look..

The Press Should Decline to Report on Private Lives of Politicians

Initially, one of the reasons why I chose this topic is because I realize that there is something related between media or press and the private lives of politicians. Politics can be an instrument of change or force of good, but I’m sure we all know that it is the press that exposed corruption and other negative things and behavior of politicians. The relation between these two things is very interesting to be talked about. And of course people will have many different arguments and we all will have hard times to decide what is best; Forbid the press to make report of private lives of the political figures because private lives is privacy or allow them to make report of it because you want to know how they live their life and you are curious if they do something bad.

As a citizen, I would rather choose the second one. I want to know what they do in their life and honestly I am very curious about corruption, collusion, or even nepotism they might do. In the last two years many crimes which were done by the political figures are revealed. I have to admit that the press does their job very well. And of course I really support the media that can reveal more ‘weird’ behavior of our politicians. Just like a few months ago. Well, we all know that a few months ago a porn video of one of our representatives in DPR were exposed by the press. How embarrassing! And as citizens, we all need transparency from the government. We want to know what they are doing in their life as the citizens’ representatives and what they are doing with the people’s money. And I think it is very cruel and disgusting when the politicians, as our representatives in this country, use our money in a wrong way. It is in Indonesia! Can’t they see that people are still starving and suffering? Do they use their mind? Or do they still have hearts? Any politicians or any people who work for the government should realize that many people depend their life on them. We, as the people of this great country, trust them as our representatives. We lay our hopes of a better place to live, food to be eaten or even getting better education on their hands. And I am proud of our press which is brave to reveal these crimes. The press has been very helpful for the citizens to know which political figures are good and which are not.

According to all those reasons, I’m very sure to say that I don’t agree with this topic that stated ‘The press should decline to report on private lives of politicians’. It is important to us to know the truth of what those politicians and other public figures do. For the politicians, be careful with everything you do because you should realize that as public figures you can be exposed by the press in any time, and think about your people and remember how they depend their life on you. And for the press, keep working hard to reveal more crimes and I am sure that many of the people of Indonesia agree with me and we are pleased to support you.

Written by Binar Sari Suryandari

XI IPS

Thank you so much for reading!

Again

2009-04-01T04:07:00.001-07:00

Now I'm wondering. I just don't get what is the point of talking heart to heart that we did yesterday if nothing changes? I thought it would work just like what we both wanted. You know what I'm thinking? We are just doing the very same drama over and over again!

5 Days

2009-03-31T06:19:00.000-07:00

Friday Saturday Sunday Monday Tuesday

Jumat:
Jadi gue merasa melakukan kesalahan dari awal. Dari bangun tidur kesiangan sampe semua kesalahan di sekolah.... Hm jadi pada hari jumat pagi itu gue berasa males banget buat bangun dari pulau kapuk gue. Sampe akhirnya si Mama dateng ke kamar untuk yang ke sekian kalinya. Akhirnya gue memaksakan untuk membuka mata gue dan langsung mengambil handuk dan mandi. Eeeeh, ternyata hal yang sama pun dirasakan juga oleh si Rakha adek gue yang telah beranjak dewasa. Dia kesiangan juga. Eh yaampun, ternyataaaaaa hari jumat itu gue ga dianter sama nyokap, melainkan sama bokap gue yang akan mengantar gue, Rakha dan si mama. Si mama ga mau bawa mobil ke kanor karena mereka udah ada perundingan gitu deh, gue juga gatau. Kayanya sih biar nanti nyokap gue langsung nyusul adek gue latian karate aja naek taxi gitu. Nah gue udah berasa banget nih bakal telat. Bayangan gue akan dijemur datang menghampiri, walopun gue tau sekarang tidak ada jemur-menjemur. Naaaaah pas udah nyampe ujung tongtek yang macet parah, nyokap gue yang kayanya juga lagi buru2 tiba2 bilang "Wis, aku tak naek taxi wae." Lah bingung lah gue. Gue juga pengen turun rasanya dan pengen naek ojek ajaaaaa. Yaudahlah, turunlah nyokap gue dan tiba2 bokap gue bilang "Wah ini sih pasti kalian telat. Naek ojek aja ya? Bapak tak balik aja ke rumah." Yaudah gue sama si Rakha turun deh tuh.
Wah gue sangaaaat heran dan kesal karena menemukan ojek disitu habis terpakai. Ckckckck gue sama rakha udah kaya liat2an gitu dan akhirnya memutuskan untuk jalan kaki setengah lari. Si Rakha ini sekolah di 115, jadi agak capek juga sebenernya kalo jalan sampe 115, jadi gue membujuk dia untuk tetap berjalan sama gue dan baru naek ojek dari 8.
Eh tiba2 ada ot=rang manggil, "Neng ojek neng." Spontan gue jawab "Iya bang iya." Rakha memandang gue dengan pandangan aneh, seolah berkata "Hah?! Lo mau ninggalin gue naek ojek? Itu kan ojeknya cuma 1, terus gue jalan sampe smabel gitu?!" Gue langsung ngerasa gaenak. Tapi ga mungkin juga gue batalin tu ojek, capek men gue. Akhirnya gue tanya ke abangnya, "Bang mau berdua sama adek saya ngga? Ke 115, tapi turunin saya dulu di 8. Mau ya bang?" Akhirnya si abang menyetujui. Gilaaaaaaa gue naek motor bertiga men. Gue pake rok sekolah putih model A-line yang ngga sempit sih, tapi ngga rempel juga kan, jadi ga lebar2 amat. Posisi gue di tengah. Saat gue lagi membetulkan posisi sebelum berangkat, gue inget banget gue denger panggilan dari Syiki, "Binaaaaaar." sambil membuka jendela mobilnya. Malu bukan kepalang. Gue gatau deh itu rame banget dan gue dengan maksanya naek ojek bertiga sampe adek gue kaya mau jatoh gitu duduknya. Yey, akhirnya gue turun dan Alhamdulillah gue belom telat meeeen!
Nah udah nih kayanya sih hidup gue berjalan tidak normal, yaaa tapi setidaknya setidaknormal seperti biasanya. Yah kaya yang gue ceritain di post sebelumnya laah.

Sabtu:
Hari luntang lantung. Jadi sebenernya anak2 Pua itu pada ke Kapa UI buat latihan wall. Gue kaya udah pengen banget ikut men, tapi ternyata gue ga bisa karena ada pelatihan ekonomi gitu. Hidup gue kaya hilang seketika gitu. Setelah pelatihan itu gue ga tau mau kemana sampe akhirnya gue ke rumah Arty, mengungsi. Sebenernya gue nunggu Dami sama Dinda yang katanya mau jalan sama Olvy juga. Tapi karena kemaleman gue jadi gaikut deh. Nah kita kelaperan banget dan pengen banget makan sushi. Kita ke sushi-ya, makin luntang lantung lagi karena gue adalah harus menunggu karena rameeee banget men. Gue lupa mesen apa, yang jelas gue kaya orang kelaperan ga pernah makan sushi deh. Setelah itu gue pulang dan kembali ke kehidupan gue bersama keluarga gue yang abnormal dan seru sambil menjalankan program earth hour yang menyenangkan.

Minggu:
Blaaaah, tadinya mau funbike, tapi apa jadinya? Tak jadi. Dan ini adalah karena si Nessa, teman yang akan berbagi satu sepeda berdua (kaya funbike sama anak PO dulu) pas gue telpon jam stengah 5 bilang ga bisa. Tapi gapapa lah, toh gue juga masih ngantuk. Pagi2nya seperti biasa, sarapan, nonton tv sampe bosen dan mandi karena disuruh. Tapi gue udah niat banget buat ngecilin Jas OSIS gue yang membuat gue terlihat seperti kemakan baju saking gedenya.
Yaaa ternyata ada si mama mau belanja dulu di Carrefour Buaran Plaza (hehehehe buaran ada plazanya loh men). Yaaa ikut lah gue, gue juga mau potong rambut, hmmm merapikan cabang2 nya sih sebenernya. Eh gue potong kan di Johnny Andrean sambil nunggu bokap nyokap gue berduaan ngopi di Jco. Eh yaampun, gue saking asiknya baca majalah sampe gue baru sadar kalo rambut gue blownya adalah dicatok. Sumpah, gue benci banget sama yang namanya dicatok. Yaaa karena gue ga suka kalo rambut gue jadinya lurus. Tapi apa boleh buat..............
Yaudah deh gue belanja di carrefour, terus ngecilin jas gue. Pas sampe rumah, Rakha yang ga bisa kemana2 karena kakinya cidera gara2 karate dan ga bisa jalan itu mentertawai gue dan bilang, "Kak Binar kaya trio macan ih." Wah sialaaaaan banget deh. Tapi gue bersabar saja, karena gue tau dia akan terus memperolok gue sampe dia cape dan tertidur.

Senin:
Wow gue agak seneng sih, soalnya ternyata rambut trio macan gue yang kemarennya itu jadi bagus pas kebawa tidur. Lurus, tapi ngga lebay lurusnya. Yah jadi terlihat kempes dan agak rapi lah. Hari senen itu mungkin adalah rekor gue paling banyak menyisir, karena gue memang jarang dan males banget nyisir, kecuali kalo disisirin. Terus di hari senen ini lah gue muter ke kelas2 minta sumbangan buat yang korban situ gintung. Jangan lupa nyumbang yaaa! Hmm oiya, sebenernya hari senin ini juga mestinya gue berbicara lagi dengan Avian. Tapi sayang gue ga bisa. Ada forum 1 LKS. Gue excited banget sih kalo soal ini hehe walaupun ternyata agak sedikit kecewa karena masih ada yang bercanda2 pas forum. Yak terus gue pulang, dan hidup gue kembali mengesankan. Entah mengapa gue rukun banget sama Rakha dan Kak Titis hari itu. Kita kaya melakukan hal2 gila yang aneh dan freak bersama dan bodohnya kok gue mau aja ngikutin mereka sampai akhirnya gue tertidur lelap di pulau kapuk bersama si penguin.

Selasa:
Hari ini ngga ada yang aneh sih, kecuali fakta bahwa kita sekelas sibuk bikin TTS agama yang membuat mata gue hampir jereng. Dan hari ini juga ternyata remed Agama hehe insyaAllah berhasil deh. Dan setelah itu kepala gue mumet karena gue baru sadar betapa abnyaknya ahl yang harus gue lakukan dan pikirkan. Hari ini gue harus ngomong sama Avian, seperti kaya apa yang udah kita rundingin sebelumnya. Tapi gue gatau mau ngomong apa. dan gue harus mikirin rafting yang ternyata perorangnya 400ribu. Anjrit, itu sih ketua nya aja ga mau ikut deh kalo 400ribu hehehe. Yah akhirnya gue ngomong sama Avian dulu. Gue mengikiuti jalannya arus serta instinc gue sendiri. Yah, semoga apa yang kita putuskan hari ini, tadi secara baik2 itu emang yang paling baik. Kita sama2 berusaha ngejalaninnya sebaik mungkin karena yaa kita memutuskan bahwa apapun alesannya, itu ngga cukup kuat buat bilang kalo kita ini ga cocok. Walaupun mungkin kita juga sempat sedikit berpikir seperti itu. Yah sudahlah, I love him all the way. Dan gue percaya kok sama apa yang udah kita omongin tadi. Kita ngomongin itu secara baik2 banget dan kita seneng banget karena akhirnya bisa seperti ini........

Hm udah ah, gue udah agak ngantuk. Besok bangun pagi lagi dan gue gamau naek ojek bertiga lagi cuma gara2 kesiangan hehehe. Byeeeeee

Rough Days

2009-03-27T22:31:00.000-07:00

Yeah these days have been quite rough to me. Problems came to me just like the rain, unpredictable and unbelievably heavy......
Yesterday I didn't get a chance to publish a post. So I'll tell you what I was going to tell you yesterday in this post. I could feel the emptiness yesterday. I felt like having no energy. But I thank God that my friends noticed what had happened to me. They succeeded cheering me up. Thank you my dear friends ;)

On Thursday :
I went to Senayan to do my duty as a senior. The physical exercise was very boring and then it became very disappointing. I was disappointed because of my junior's behavior. Ckckckckck Then I went to Avian's house with Syiki by taxi. We didn't know how to get to Avian's house we almost got lost but thank God, we didn't. And Syiki, Andi, Brian, Avian and I were swimming there. We played coin-finding game. And then I went home and I never felt more alone........

On Friday :
I was very nervous in the morning because I was going to have English exam. The exam was about Gerund and Infinitive. Many friends had told me that the test had been difficult. And only some of the students passed the test. Well actually I didn't really study. I slept early at the night before. My hand went cold and I was sweating during the test. But thank God I passed! I got 93! And yesterday I was also very surprised because I am accepted in Economy OSN! Yeaaaay! And after school, I had Puapala meeting with the juniors. The meeting was called 'Sharing Frontal'. And I went home and felt alone again until my phone rang.

Today? I'll tell you later about my day today. Now I'm at Arty's house, borrowing her computer to write this post hehehehe (thanks arty). Thanks people for visiting and reading this blog! Wish me all the best dooooong yaa? Help me through my problems..........

We've talked about this

2009-03-25T07:23:00.000-07:00

"Well, don't laugh too much in the morning if you don't want to cry in the night." (yeahs, it's true)

Just think about it carefully and don't hurry. I'm sure you know what to do. I know Allah will give us the best way for both of us. Keep it as a secret, just like how I always keep you in my mind and heart. Don't let anyone make comment about it, because they don't know what exactly happen and it's only between you and me. I'm sure you know how I feel, so I don't need to type it here.

Again; just think about it and don't rush, we'll figure it out............

Scores, Awareness, Pak Fuguuuuuuu

2009-03-25T03:55:00.000-07:00

Akhirnya gue menyentuh laptop gue juga. Post yang kemaren itu juga gue publish lewat hape, bukan laptop. Akhirnyaaaa! Hm my other scores? As I predicted, they made me disappointed. Even my english score! :'( But it's okay, because the test was full of text and paragraphs, and I always hate reading test. Deutsch : 88, Economy : 92, Sociology : 66, English : 76 (reading); 100 (listening), Religion : 56, History : 94.

My last post; it was my way to show my anger. I was really angry and it had something to do with 'Awareness'. I've been aware that awareness is very needed to built a relationship with someone. I mean not only boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, but also relationship with friends, family or any other people. And I perfectly realized that :
awareness -> tolerance -> kindness -> care -> love -> happiness.

And now about my day today!
hahahaha my day has been fun! Kayanya bakal lebih seru kalo diceritain kalo pake bahasa sehari-hari aja deh hehehe biar agak bisa aneh2. Jadi...... hari ini itu seperti biasa gue dateng pagi, belajar, gosip, maen kartu, sampe istirahat pertama. Nah dari kemaren tuh emang udah ada rencana gitu mau cabut ke BNI buat nembusin proposal Wall-Re (Wall Reconstruction). Tapi emang agak gila sih, soalnya siapa aja yang mau pergi belom ditentuin. Naaah, gue dengan spontan bilang "Woy gue aja deh ikutan yaaa? Gue BTA semua nih." Jadilah gue ikut ke BNI bareng Akbar, Idham, Mirhady, Astra naek mobilnya si kribo (akbar).

Pertamanya kita ngambil proposal dulu di percetakan. Yaudah deh abis ngambil kita bingung mau kemana soalnya si CP BNI nya yang namanya pak Fugu was unreachable gitu ga bisa ditelponin. Terus kita ke rumah kak Ilham ngaso sambil asik maen capsa. Seru deh (kayanya gue udah bener2 ketagihan maen deh). Terus kita cabut, tapi kelaperan. Alhasil kita mampir ke wafa, makan dulu sambil ngobrol2. Nah abis itu kita udah bener2 commit deh kalo sekarang harus ke BNI nya. Sayang sekali jalanan macet berat, jadi kita cari jalan muter2 deh entah lewat mana karena gue emang buruk dalam kenavigasian hehehe. Alhamdulillah kita sampe juga. Pusiiiiiiiiing, rame banget bo ternyata dan yah maaf yah berhubung gue punya penyakit kampung jadi pusing deh gue. Gue phobia keramaian zzz terus kita dioper2 gitu deh kaya lagi ada ditermehek2. setiap ditanyain mau ketemu siapa kita bilang "Mau ketemu pak Fugu, pak." Dan mereka selalu menjawab "Di divisi ini ga ada yang namanya Pak Fugu." Kita jadi bingung, 'Does he really exist in this BNI world?' Termehek-mehek banget deh pokoknya.

Bodohnya memang sangat keterlaluan, kita ngga nanya pak Fugu biskuit gembung itu divisi apaan. dan disitu kaya ada belasan divisi atau bahkan puluhan divisi yang terbagi dalam beberapa gedung. Kita aja sampe udah naek turun 3 gedung yang berbeda pake lift yang bikin pusing dan mual. Akhirnya kita dikasih tau buat nyoba ke Divisi Dana dan Jasa Konsumen di Lantai 40 di gedung yang paling jauh. Okay, kita jabanin dah. Ckckckck pas udah sampe sana, apa yang terjadi? PAK FUGU SI BISKUIT IKAN GEMBUNG ITU SEDANG RAPAT. Wah lelah juga ya. Tapi kita menitipkan proposal perpanjangan kontrak itu lah ke kaya semacam penjaga nya gitu dan udah janjian sama staf nya buat ketemu lagi pas hari jumat. Huff apa sih yang ngga buat Puapala? hehehehe ;) Yah pulang deh kita, ngantuk banget dan nanggung banget jamnya. Kita nyampe sekolah jam 3an gitu dan gue males banget balik ke kelas lagi. Nanggung banget oy. yaudah ngaso lah gue di mobil bang Akbar sama astra mirhady. Idham ke sawin, Akbar shalat. Pas bel kita turun, ngambil tas dan kumpul di KOSMIK (Kosan Malik). Gue gambar sebuah bohlam peyang buat iriph presentasi LIA. Hehehe sorry yak kagak simetris lampunya hhehe. Terus pulang deh.

Dan selesai petualangan gue hari ini karena gue mau merencanakan cara berangkat besok pagi ke latfis caang 36 yang dipegang sama 34. Waaaa can't wait deh. Gatau kenapa gue excited banget, pokoknya gue seneng aja gitu. Dan gue mohon para 35 sekalian untuk datang semuanya tepat jam 7 yaaaa di pintu 1!

Yeahs, that's all people! Hugs and Kisses :) -Binar-

I know you already knew

2009-03-23T04:13:00.000-07:00

Awareness is always something I'd love you to have.......

I'm exploded by my own emotion that i've been keeping for a very long time. I change myself a lot to suit you, please will you do the same?

Parts of this week

2009-03-20T23:34:00.000-07:00

PART I = MID TEST
Well as I told you before that I always had problem in updating my blog regularly. Yaaa jadi lah gue yang lupa meng-update blog gue ini hehehe. And my first story is about ....... MID TEST! zzz I'm not satisfied with my scores. Yaa dari 4 nilai yang udah gue ketahui, 2 diantaranya adalah remed hm....... I got 70.00 in Citizenship and 72.00 in Sport. Well what can I say? It's not very bad actually, because they are still above 70.00. But yea I still need to take the remedial test. Tapi yaaa Alhamdulillah juga deh gue ga remed TIK dan Matematik yang masing-masing dapet 92.00 dan 93.00 (even my math score is the best score in my class!). Yah walaupun nilai gue lagi turun2nya, gue seneng banget karena Avian nilainya bagus2 dan ngga ada yang remed loh hahaha hebat ya dia? hehehe Well enough talking about Mid Test. I'll tell you my scores in other subjects too as soon as possible.

Part II = OSN?
Hahaha ini mungkin bagian yang paling ga penting sepanjang masa ya. Tapi buat gue ini lucu banget deh hehehe. Jadi pada hari terakhir mid test, gue datang pagi seperti biasa dan bertemu Andika C.Z. (A) dan Pramudita H. A. (D) dan mulailah kita mengobrol....
B: Aduh sumpah deh gue ga belajar agama sama sekali
D: Ah boong, binar mah suka gitu bilangnya belajar tapi..
B: Yeh, beneran dit gue belom belajar apa2
A: Tapi belajar sejarah kan lo?
B: Yaa cuma baca2 soal ini doang gue, itu juga cuma baca, ga masuk ke otak hehehe
A: Lah jadi lo belajarnya apa? Belajar ekonomi kan lo?
B: Hah? Ekonomi? Orang hari ini Sejarah sama Agama gitu dik. Ngapain belajar Ekonomi?
A: Lah OSN nya Ekonomi kan lo? Kan hari ini..
B: Hah? Omaigat gue lupa abis parah, aduh gimana dong gue belom belajaaaaaar

........... dan pikiran gue kembali ke beberapa hari yang lalu saat gue dengan pede nya menuliskan nama gue di form OSN ekonomi dan kebumian (?). Jangan mikir macem2 ya, gue nulis nama gue di 2 subject itu bukan karena gue mau ngerjain dua2nya. Tapi karena gue bingung hehehe -,-'
Akhirnya pada akhir mid test, gue baru deh kelabakan mau baca2 buat test OSN. Gue mutusin buat ikut ekonomi aja, dan pas gue liat ruangan gue, tiba2 gue liat nama gue di ruangan KEBUMIAN! "Oh noooooooo! Gue gamau kebumian, gue mau ekonomi ajaaaa, help meee!" kata gue dalam hati. Akhirnya gue masa bodo dan gue masuk aja ke ruangan ekonomi. Pas dimulai, baru gue bilang, gue pindahan dari kebumian, dan Alhamdulilaaaaah Pak Acil yang baik hati memperbolehkan gue buat pindah....... Tapi belom selesai sampe disitu. Mulailah soal dibagikan. Awalnya gue ngeliat dari jauh dan bergumam "Kok banyak ya?" dan ternyata pas soal jatuh ke tangan gue, gue ngerasa soalnya agak berat dan pas gue liat.........."Oh noo, it consists of SIXTEEN PAGES!" -,-' Gue kaget banget parah, 16 halaman, 70 soal, 90 menit. And there was 3Parts; There were 30 questions in Economy part, 20 questions in Accountancy part and 20 questions in English part. And beside the english part, there were also several economy and accountancy questions in English and also several question consisted of numbers and function which needed to be counted zzzz

PART III = Latfis peresmian Bacaang
Yeeeee, ini ttg PUAPALA. Jadi ada beberapa angkatan bawah gue yang masih jadi bacaang (kalo ngga salah sih ada 3) dan mereka harus jadi caang dong supaya bisa disamakan dengan teman2 lainnya. Yaaah buat kronologis latfisnya gausah diceritain lah, yang jelas gue kecewa banget karena bacaang yang mau diresmiin pada akhirnya cuma 1orang. Pokoknya semua berjalan dengan lancar lah sampai pada akhir latfis (pas semua caang lagi mau shalat) datanglah orang dari Polsek. Gila, jujur deh ya gue awalnya kaget banget dan agak panik, makanya gue diem aja. Mereka nanya2 gitu ttg latian hari ini. Temen2 gue yang laen jawab dan gue dengan sangat MT nya duduk ngeliat dari jauh, thinking about how could they come there and interrogate us. Tapi gue juga bingung karena temen2 gue yang laen kok tenang2 aja yaa. Gue juga mestinya tenang sih, kan kita ga salah, tapi yaaa takut juga lah gue rasanya.

Akhirnya setelah selesai, gue baru tau ternyata pas tadi gue sempet misah dari yang laen, ada ibu2 yang lagi jogging berhenti dan ngefoto2in latfis kita dan nanya2. Dan tenyata ibu2 itu nelfon polisi, dikira kita mau bunuh anak orang kali. Sumpah deh gue bete banget. Nih ibu kok lebay banget sih, orang juga pecinta alam masa mau bunuh orang? Lagian kemaren itu itungannya bukan latfis, cuma peresmian doang. Paraaaah gue langsung bete deh -,-'

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Yah begitulah cerita penting gue seminggu ini. Yah cerita gue yang laen adalah pertama kalinya gue liat 1temen gue nangis2 kaya orang gila karena pacarnya. Akhir minggu ini gue mengurusi permasalahan cinta salah seorang teman gue yang cukup kompleks. Hm yang jelas gue belajar banyak dari masalah mereka. Pokoknya gue berdoa dan mengusahakan yang terbaik lah ya buat lo berduaa ;) ehehehe
I guess that's all, byeeeeeeeeeee!

Our Spontaneous Day :)

2009-03-08T05:29:00.000-07:00

Unpredictable? Definitely! Jadi hari ini itu adalah 7bulanan nya gue sama Avian. Dan kita itu sebelumnya emang udah merencanakan buat pergi. Tadinya sih kita gatau mau kmana dan nagapain, tapi akhirnya kita dapet pencerahan buat ke Planet Hollywood aja. Kita ketemu di dunkin smabel jam 12an. We went to Planet Hollywood by taxi (tadinya sih mau ngangkot aja, tapi karena panasnya jakarta yang menyengat kita membuat keputusan yang lebih bijak buat naek taxi hehehe). Sampe sana jujur kita gatau mau nntn apa, bingung deh pokoknya hehe aneh banget deh pokoknya.

Akhirnya kita memutuskan buat nonton 'Seven Pounds' and before entering the studio we bought one box of popcorn. Pertamanya sih gue ga terlalu peduli gitu sama filmnya because I wasn't really interested. But then the movie went more interesting so I watched it more serious. Well if you feel you have a heart, you should watch it. The movie suceeded to make me and some of the audiences weep. One more great performance from Will Smith.

Setelah nntn, kita bingung mau ngapain. Perut keroncongan pengen makan. Tapi duit gue adalah ketinggalan di tas gue yang kemaren jadi yaa ga makan lah gue. Thank God I have Avian, yang notabene mau diajak susah bersama hehehe. It was raining, so we had to wait before we went home. Sambil nunggu, kita ngobrol banyaaaak yah kaya biasa lah.

Terus hujannya reda, kita naek metromini nomer 66 sampai di suatu daerah yang gue gatau dimana hehehe yaaa itulah gue, gatau jalan ibukota. terus kita jalan lumayan jauh karena kita mau nunggu metromini 612 lagi buat sampe ke kampung melayu. Pas sampe suatu halte, gue duduk, capek men soalnya. Terus lewatlah tukang putu & klepon. Dan terjadilah conversation yang agak weird menurut gue, tapi itu yang bikin hari ini jadi beda:

"Eh vi itu ada klepon, tau ga sih itu tuh enak banget loh.", kata gue sembarangan.
"Iya aku tau kok itu enak. Eh kamu mau bin?", dia jawab dengan asal juga.
Dengan lebih asal lagi gue jawab, "Beneran yaa? Emang mungkin kita beli di pinggir jalan kaya gini?"
Eh dengan enaknya avian jawab "Mungkin!"
Dan avian langsung aja lho lari ngejar tuh abang2 dan beli 6 klepon buat berdua ckckck.

Yah itulah dia, percakapan yang membuat gue sama dia makan klepon di halte pinggir jalan hahaha spontaneously unpredictable kan ya? hehehe

Terus sebelum kita pergi, Avian masih laper tuh ternyata. Dan kita liat ada gerobak bakso gitu. Kita dekati lah tukang bakso itu terus beli 1 mangkok dan makan di pinggir SPBU dekat halte yang tadi itu. Lo mungkin yang baca blog ini bisa mikir gue pasangan paling aneh kali. Di tengah banyaknya pasangan yang lagi siap2 karena nanti malemnya mau java jazz-an berdua pacar, eh ada gitu ya pasangan kaya gue dan avian. Yang lagi sama2 kere, makan klepon di halte dan semangkok bakso berdua di depan SPBU. Hehehehe that's why we are different from other couples, right?

After avian finished his eating, and I finished taking some photos, we walked and looked for some drinks. Hahaha ketemulah 1 warung dan kita beli Frutang sama Teh Botol Sosro. Terus kita udah dijemput sama 612 yang siap membawa kita ke kampung melayu, tempat dimana kita bakal berpisah arah. Gue agak ngantuk saat itu jadi yaa gue lebih banyak diem aja disitu.

Gue ngantuk banget parah, alhasil di metromini gue yang selanjutnya, yaitu 52, gue tidur terlelap sampe ketemu McD deket rumah dan siap2 turun. Gue jalan dari lampu merah sampe rumah sambil berpikir betapa anehnya hari ini. Semua yang gue lakuin sama avian hari ini itu spontan banget, ga pake mikir, asal dan sembarangan. Tapi gue ga ngerasa nyesel sama sekali tentang kejadian2 itu, karena spontaneousness kita itu yang bikin hari ini jadi beda! :) :)

Just like yesterday?

2009-03-07T06:47:00.000-08:00

Yes today is just like yesterday, boring! This morning I woke up at about 6.30 and found my mother was getting prepared because she needed to go to her office and I was like "Oh my God, it's Saturday for God's sake!". Yeah, she's been very busy lately, even tomorrow (which is Sunday) she still needs to go to her office zzz............. And after I met my mother I decided to watch DVD and I watched 'Benjamin Button'. I wept after watching that movie and then went to my room, checking my cellphone and there was 2 messages. The first one was from my Avian, and the other one was from arty telling me that i was invited to tewe's birthday. And i don't know why I suddenly bursted into tears. Crying, and not just weeping. Well, it's me. I couldn't even understand myself for being so weird. Sometimes I don't know what I feel, why I feel that way or how can I often weep or even cry for something I can't even define. Then I replied Avian message, and sent a message to Utha, asking about tewe's birthday (well, I didn't really believe that I was invited actually, because I didn't know about it before). Then both of them called me. Utha called me first. I know that my voice was like crying. And then Avian called me and he asked me why I was crying, and I said that it was because of the movie (which was not completely true hehehe)
And I went downstairs again, and I found Rakha and kak Titis were watching 'Madagascar 2', and I joined. After the movie had finished, we talked about 'The Master' reality show. And then we decided to watch 'Yes Man' (which I had watched before). And I took a bath, got dressed, and went to Arty's house. Then I met my Avian there, we walked around jalur hijau tebet, which is kinda historical for both of us, having fun and laughing. Then we said goodbye; he went home and I had to get ready to go to Tewe's birthday. In tewe's birthday I got bored and Avian called me more than 1 hour (well actually I asked him to call me, because I felt alone and bored).
After we all finished eating, we took some photos (maybe tewe will upload it in facebook) and everyone but Cindy and I went to do karaoke and have some more fun. Cindy and I straightly went home because my mother had been calling me asking me what time I'll reach home. I reached my lovely home at about 21.30. Thanks a lot to Cindy and her kind mother for driving me home. My home was dark, my mom had already slept and my father hadn't come home. Then I heard Rakha was playing guitar and kak Titis was sneezing which indicated that I was not the only one who hadn't gone to bed.
I went to my room and found Rakha. He played the guitar an I told him my today story. And he sang a song that he thought would suit my condition. A song by Red Hot Chilli Pepper ;

"Under The Bridge"

Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner

Sometimes I feel like my only friend

Is the city I live in - the city of cities

Lonely as I am, together we cry we cry we cry

I don't ever want to feel like I did that day

Take me to the place I love - take me all the way

I don't ever want to feel like I did that day

Take me to the place I love - take me all the way

I drive on the streets, 'cos he's my companion

I walk through his fields, 'cos he knows who I am

He sees my good day, then he kisses me windy

I never worry - now that's a lie

I don't ever want to feel like I did that day

Take me to the place I love - take me all the way

I don't ever want to feel like I did that day

Take me to the place I love - take me all the way

1 time, 2 times, 3 times, 4 times

It's hard to believe there's nobody out there

It's hard to believe that I'm all alone

At least I have his love - the city he loves me

Lonely as I am, together we cry

I don't ever want to feel like I did that day

Take me to the place I love - take me all the way

I don't ever want to feel like I did that day

Take me to the place I love - take me all the way

And then I realized that he was quite right..................

Today is not really my day..........

2009-03-06T03:58:00.002-08:00

Yep, benar sekali! Today is not really my day. I started this day in a wrong way, yaaa jadi beginilah, sampai pada saat gue menulis post gue ini, semua berasa salah aja. Hm sejak adek gue diancem mau dipulangin gara2 keseringan telat, dia jadi selalu bangun & mandi duluan daripada gue dan baru akhirnya ngebangunin gue. Tadi pagi gue berasa kalo si rakha (my brother) udah mandi dan ngebangunin gue, tapi pas di kamar mandi gue baru sadar "Wah kayanya tadi si mbak deh yang bangunin, bukan rakha." Gue langsung mandi cepet2 dan hasrat gue untuk keramas hilang seketika. Pas gue udah selesai dan lagi ngerapihin buku, tukutukutuk datanglah si rakha dengan ayunan langkah santai dan berat sambil memakai boxer dan kaos yang mengindikasikan bahwa dia belom mandi. Tadinya gue sempet berharap kalau yg bangunin gue tadipagi itu beneran rakha, dan harapan itu pupus deh melihat tu orang sambil berkata:

"Woy mandi duluan deh lu kak"

terus gue jawab aja "Lah ini gue udah pake baju seragam tau, udah mandi. Jangan bilang lo belom mandi?!"

dan si bocah ini menjawab, "Loh udah mandi to? Yaudah deh"

Hahaha untung gue lagi males marah2 dan kesel2 juga, lagipula itu masih pagi banget kayanya (walopun gue gatau itu jam berapa). Yaaa pas gue udah selesai, gue turun lah ke bawah, dan masih setengah 6 kurang 10 kayanya. Dan gue baru liat kalo sepatu yang disiapin itu adalah sepatu cadangan gue gara2 my primary shoes itu masih basah gara2 kemaren becek. dan sepatu cadangan gue itu adalah ada hiasan kancing gitu, dan itu kaya mau copot gitu, jadi sambil mengisi waktu, gue kerahkan mata gue yang udah hampir tertutup lagi buat ngejahit sepatu (hahaha bingung kan lo gue bisa ngejahit sepatu?) terus akhirnya karena rakha masih lama siapnya, jadi gue berangkatnya terpisah, dan gue berangkat sama bokap. Dan dari situ hidup gue kembali normal.

Yah disekolah biasa laaah, kebanyakan ga belajar dan lebih banyak maen capsa (sst jangan bilang2), dan gue lagi sering banget kalah. Yaudah trus gue rapat dekorasi buat BBM dan lain2 laaah. Eh pas pulang sekolah gue berasa ga normal lagi. Yang pertama, gue bingung pulang nebeng siapa. Yang kedua, gue gatau mau pulang jam berapa. Yang ketiga, gue bingung sebelum pulang mau ngapain. Si avian mau futsal dan setelah itu dia ada 'kegiatan rutin' gitu jadi alhasil ya gue sendirian lah.

Akhirnya gue memutuskan ke kosan ijo buat numpang pipis sih awalnya, terus jadi keterusan gara2 ada kania dan ifa. Terus untuk mengisi waktu bersama mereka, gue maen tebak2an analisis kasus gitu yang pernah gue dapet dari kak Titis (my sister). Awalnya sih cm sama ifa dan kenny doang, tapi ale ikut mendengarkan dan akhirnya ikut berpartisipasi. And it turned to be very exciting because their response is great. Hahaha emang seru sih tebak2an nya dan sangat logis tentunya. Dan ini ttg Romeo dan Juliet hahahahaha (iya kan ya?) terus datanglah irfan dan dia jadi ikutan juga dan akhirnya ada idham sama nindya juga yang gue ajak buat jawab biar makin seru. I laughed a lot at that time.

Eeeeh pas mereka pada balik, gue bingung deh. Akhirnya pulang bareng ifa dan naek metromini seperti biasa. Aduh parah deh, berasa banget sendirian gitu. Terus sampe rumah gue benar2 kaget luar biasa karena ga ada orang dirumah. Sebenernya sering sih gue ditinggal gitu, tapi biasanya pas gue pulang mereka ada dulu di rumah, dan belom pergi ke tempat si rakha latian karate (he's an athlete anyway). Dan masalahnya itu masih jam stengah 6an gitu, jadi ga mungkin mereka udah pada berangkat. Dan ternyata pas gue tanya si mbak, katanya belom pada pulang. Ckck suddenly I bursted into tears as soon as I reached my room. Oiya, I saw my friends were having fun and laughing, but well I don't know, I didn't have courage to greet them and I just smiled to myself and then went to my class to do math assignment. (oiya ini sebenernya tadi sih pas istirahat gitu, hahaha jadi alur mundur gitu ya gue?)

Hahahha gatau deh, sebenernya sih gada apa2, gue sama temen2 gue juga ga pernah ada maslah, cuma gatau deh hari ini berasa gaenak aja kalo tiba2 dateng and greet them gitu. Waduh kok jadi curhat ya? hehe aneh banget deh hari ini aneh, biasa aja, nyebelin, seru, kesel, sedih deh akhirnya gara2 gue pikir pas sampe rumah bisa ngobrol2 dulu gitu sama siapa kek gitu, eh ternyata ga bisa hahaha yaudalah gapapa. Tapi yang penting di hari ini itu adalah 'Kuis Analisis' nya itu loh. Kalo ada yang dapet ttg pertanyaan kuis analisis ini, itu dari kakak gue loh yang jenius itu hahahha unpredictable banget kan Romeo & Juliet Kuis Analisis Version nya. hehehehe buat kenny, ifa, ale, irfan, nindya dan idham, kalo mau nyebarin kuisnya bilang ya itu dari gue dan gue dapet dari kak Titis hahahaha oke2?

Hmm udah ah curhatnya, capek juga, lagi gaenak badan pula gue hehehe. Daaaaaaaa :)

-BSS-

Well, finally.... My first blog!

2009-03-05T04:15:00.000-08:00

My first blog! A big 'wow' was said by me to myself. I had been thinking about creating blog since months ago, but I guess now is the perfect time. There are sooooo many reasons why I created this blog justnow and not at that very time when I got the idea :

I am not so good at operating any kind of 'technology' (gaptek)
I was afraid that I couldn't really have that much time to update my blog regularly
Well, I love to write, but am not so good at having the ideas what to write
..............etc

Hmm, not sooo many reasons actually, but I really needed time to reconsider my decision to create a blog. But now I have decided and here's my blog! But I am very sorry if I cannot do the updating very often and not regularly, because sometimes I have problems in connecting to the Internet (because the modem is often brought by my elder sister and used by my younger brother) and in managing my time :D but I'll try to update and do the posting as often as I can......... Visit this pandora box because anything that I'll write here can possibly be very surprising and unpredictable, just like a pandora box!

-Binar Suryandari-